The first week
In part 1, I shared the wonderful story of my dog Marvin—how he came into my life and changed it. I also mentioned the themes I found when I read through last year’s journal.
Themes for the year
Water
Spiritual warfare
Renewal
Marvin & Me was a story of renewal. Today’s post includes a story about water—another one of the year’s themes.
In the year of our Lord—Anno Domini—2023…
How did 2023 begin? Let’s dig into the first week of the year. God’s goodness was on beautiful display. Such beautiful display.
Day 1—The Lord’s day
On January 1, our family rode to church in Courtney, Logan’s SUV. After church, we each visited with friends. I talked with Meagan and Elyse, journaling later, “I love our life group!” Then our family ate lunch at Cotton Patch. That afternoon while Brandon and Logan napped, I practiced and tweaked my talk for the upcoming Someone Cares retreat. “The Holy Spirit is helping me greatly. Thank you, Lord!” (Read about the last retreat here.)
Sunday, January 1
Journal entry
Late this afternoon we went to Dave’s retirement party next door. We had a great time. Their son-in-law Preston cooked the Cajun shrimp boil. It was wonderful. Before dinner, we visited outside with Dave and Tom, his former (now retired) partner. We learned good things about the accounting profession/world. There’s a shortage of accountants right now. We all commented later about what a great networking opportunity this was for Logan. He learned about future accounting professors at A&M and more.
We speed-watched several football games using Condensed Play on NFL+. Logan’s enjoying the fantasy football league he’s in with other CCA grads.
Today was a great beginning to the year, filled with the word of God, friends, food and the unfolding of God’s plan. TBTG!
Day 2—State of the family
At the top of my journal, I described my January 2 entry as State of the Family. I wrote about my efforts and progress on the healing of my right elbow, injured the previous fall. “God is helping me.”
Monday, January 2
Journal entry
We put away our remaining Christmas presents and picked up for the maids. Jose and Elena are wonderful. What a blessing to have them helping our family. Lord, bless them mightily!
…Brandon and I ate leftover shrimp, sausage and corn on the cob from Dave’s retirement party. Delicious. Logan met [church pals] Elijah and Nicholas at Rosa’s Café. They had a great time and then came to our house and played a two-hour game of Unstable Unicorns at our game table. Brandon and I watched the Kansas City game in Brandon’s office. Good times.
While we were getting ready for bed, I told Brandon to sit down. I’d just received an email from The Spider: “Sorry I missed this email. I will call and request the money tomorrow….” I emailed her on Nov. 29. Strangely enough, I received a Happy New Year text from Linda today. I reciprocated. This was the first Christmas that I didn’t hear from her. Sam is praying for a peaceful transition of [Logan’s trust fund] materials from The Spider to me. Lord, I pray for that too.
The way it began
The year began with Pam jacking with me. No. Certainly not. Who’s Pam? My younger sibling, a card-carrying malignant narcissist, and the “voluntary” executor of our mom’s will. Basically, a nightmare on steroids. We call her The Spider for obvious reasons. Anyway, in customary fashion, Pam lied—pretending she hadn’t seen my November email requesting money from Logan’s trust fund for college expenses. Right. And I heard from her accomplice, my other sibling, the exact same day: January 2. What a remarkable coincidence—I mean coordinated effort.
Her way and his way
The year began Pam’s Way, a la “How can I mess with Frankie Ann throughout the Christmas and New Year’s holidays and then pretend I’m being oh-so-helpful?” Touché, Spider Extraordinaire. Here’s the thing. The year began Pam’s Way, but it ended God’s Way.
“Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
Romans 12:19b, King James Version
The way it ended
Pam died on Christmas Eve. The thorn in my side was finally gone—at the perfect time. Read about that life-changing day and a host of December blessings from God Almighty in part 4 of The Post-Turnaround Transformation.
I realized something very interesting while I was writing today’s post. Brandon’s violent sister Shelly also died in the month of December—10 years before Pam, to the month. Shelly also experienced a long-term illness with much physical suffering. She, like Pam, caused untold suffering.
The Lord’s vengeance
God doesn’t take evil lightly. In the fullness of time—at the right moment, in the right way—evil people take their last breath. Drink in the final post of the epic story of Esther to explore the “common thread in evil hearts.” The verses in Proverbs 6:16-19 describe Pam, The Almighty; Shelly; my mother-in-law Delia; and perhaps someone you know.
Yea, verily: “Vengeance is mine… saith the Lord.” (Romans 12:19b, KJV)
State of the family
Let’s get back to the first week of last year. Pam’s gameplaying wasn’t the only thing that made January 2 a State-of-the-Family Day. Yes, the state of the extended family remained terminally jacked-up. Welcome to reality, Frankie Ann. I know, I know.
But the state of our family was decidedly different. Smiles, hugs and dog-petting from Jose and Elena, who help our family twice a month. They are angels. Truly. A great adjustment at our chiropractor’s office, plus encouraging evidence of physical healing by the Lord. Delicious leftovers from our neighbor’s retirement party. Logan’s extended time with his closest friends at their favorite restaurant and then playing a fun game at our house. Watching a football game with Brandon.
Sweet help, the Lord’s healing, special food, treasured friends, and peaceful time together as husband and wife. Is that our State of the Family or what? Amen. We were surrounded by the presence, help, kindness and joy of others. Pam’s garbage didn’t override or erase the truth.
God loves us deeply and is so good to us.
And that, Peaceful Readers, is our ultimate reality.
Covered in prayer
Let’s not forget my friend Sam. She began the year praying for a peaceful resolution regarding the transfer of Logan’s trust fund. I joined her in that prayer. And God Almighty answered those January prayers in December. A peaceful transition from The Spider? From the control freak who never contacted me about it? Yes, indeed. God did it anyway. He didn’t need Pam’s permission or participation.
God is on his throne and he accomplishes his purposes.
Day 3—More of God’s goodness
We were blessed by good friends, good food and good fun on Day 3—and more. Seeing Kathleen was always a highlight of the day at St. Matt’s. And being a part of women’s healing through Someone Cares filled my heart with anticipation and joy.
Tuesday, January 3
Journal entry
Logan ate lunch with [CCA friends] Ryan and Ethan. I enjoyed lunch with Kathleen. She talked about her husband Fred. He loved Christmas.
I sent retreat sign-up info to [a lady from church that I’ll call] Sharon. Lord, bless her and bring her there!
Brandon and Logan picked up dinner from Braum’s while I worked on laundry. I sure enjoyed it all, especially my chocolate chip cookie dough shake. We watched Mission Impossible 2.
We loved having Logan home for Christmas break.
Day 4—Generosity
Wednesday was another simple, sweet day filled with God’s goodness to us. I got a good adjustment at my chiropractor’s office. His office manager—let’s call her Amber—told me they’d be charging me less per visit than we previously discussed, given our switch to a cheaper insurance plan. Very generous. “TBTG!”
Logan ate lunch with a friend. They were on the soccer team at school and went to church together. I cooked our favorite chicken dish for dinner and tried a new roasted asparagus recipe. It was very good. Then Brandon, Logan and I watched MI3, the next movie in the Mission Impossible series. We watched the series before going to see the newest installment at the theater.
Day 5—Joy and answered prayers
What a sweet way to begin the day.
Thursday, January 5 (part 1)
Journal entry
The weather has been beautiful this week. I saw a young cardinal eating on our kitchen window sill. God sees me. God knows me. God loves me. Joy, joy, joy.
The goalie invited Logan to the CCA boys’ soccer game. I journaled about the coaches and friends Logan enjoyed visiting with, plus my prayer of gratitude for the goalie’s invitation.
I emailed the Someone Cares prayer team and got a very good response to my special request. Guess what? The Lord answered my prayer from Tuesday. Sharon filled out the online intake form for the next retreat. “Lord, bless this retreat mightily.” God answered that prayer too, with a big, whopping, abundant Yes.
Thursday, January 5 (part 2)
Journal entry
Logan cooked us steaks for dinner. Delicious. Before dinner, Logan and I sat at the dining room table. He was researching cards for a Magic [game] deck. I made three new photo ornaments and put them on our tree. Yay! Looking at our Christmas tree fills my heart with joy and gratitude.
Day 6—Sailing
On Friday that first week, we experienced water—one of the year’s themes. But that wasn’t all.
Friday, January 6
Journal entry
Lulie [—the founder of Someone Cares—] and I had a great talk this morning. Her prayer for me encouraged me so much. Many people came up to St. Matt’s today, including precious Kathleen, my new mom. It felt so good to hug her and see her warm smile.
After work, I met Brandon at the boat. We ate burritos from Taco Casa. …Our sailing was wonderful and peaceful. The weather was gorgeous—in the 60s. I took photos of the pretty sunset. Brandon talked about working less this year and managing his stress. Excellent! Meeting at the boat after work will be good for both of us.
While Brandon and I were out on the boat, Logan went to his school’s alumni dinner and basketball homecoming and had a great time visiting with the guys. God is so good.
Being on our sailboat, where it’s really quiet, allows the opportunity for some much-needed reflection without the usual distractions of life. Brandon was right about needing to work less and manage his own stress—achieving a healthier balance and mindset. Guess what, Peaceful Readers? In 2023, he actually did just that. He worked less. He stepped off the hamster wheel. He started thinking more positively. I was so happy for him. And the year ended with his boss asking him to write his own job description for a new position. Truly remarkable. Brandon’s new job began this year. It’s been life-changing. No more middle-of-the-night phone calls, and so much more. To God be the glory.
[…Jesus] said, “The things which are impossible with man are possible with God.”
Luke 18:27, New Heart English Bible
Day 7—A long nap and a great book
Saturday was peaceful.
Saturday, January 7
Journal entry
I practiced and tweaked my presentation on anger for the [Someone Cares] retreat. Brandon flew [radio-controlled] airplanes. He grabbed Dairy Queen on the way home. I already ate a hotdog for lunch, so I just asked for a Heath Blizzard. Yum. I took a long nap this afternoon. Brandon and Logan did a repair on Courtney—hoses, etc. We all watched Mission Impossible 4. It was good. I started reading The Magician’s Nephew, the first book of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. Excellent.
What a blessing to end the first week picking up a great classic by C.S. Lewis.
The beautiful week and the foretelling
If you’d asked me what happened the first week of 2023, I couldn’t have told you anything about it. Until I looked intently at my journal. It was actually a particularly-wonderful week. At the beginning of today’s post, I wrote: “God’s goodness was on beautiful display. Such beautiful display.” What made that week beautiful? God’s blessings. The people. The encouragement about Logan’s future. The answered prayers. Brandon’s good decisions about his life. What a beautiful week.
The events of this week also foretold some amazing things to come—an amazing retreat filled with healing, an amazing new job for Brandon, and an amazing resolution to long-term spiritual warfare. From darkness to light. From frustration to fruitfulness. From spiritual warfare to victory.
Finally seeing the truth—spiritual warfare
I didn’t acknowledge until I wrote the last paragraph that dealing with Pam, The Almighty was a big, fat case of lifelong spiritual warfare—one of last year’s themes. I wrote many times about her evil; I could call her my enemy; but I never acknowledged that we were at war. I never called the struggle what it truly was—spiritual warfare. Why? Why did I never connect the dots where Pam was concerned? Why couldn’t I see the bigger picture?
Close to home
From this post in the Grieving series:
I wrote the section [called The Family’s Purpose] about a year ago, with Brandon’s sociopathic parents in mind. Now I’m forced to apply what I wrote to my own childhood. That’s not so fun.
Likewise, we can easily identify other people’s problems and flaws, while it’s often painful to look at our own. Jesus spoke about this. Maybe Pam—someone I mistakenly thought was my friend for 40-plus years—was too close to home. As the old saying goes, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
In my 50s, I finally unpacked my childhood while I wrote the Grieving series. I finally saw Pam for who she really was. I finally acknowledged what she had done and why. Maybe my pride got in the way. It stung to admit how long I was blind.
The bigger picture
Truth be told, I couldn’t see—or didn’t want to see—the bigger picture. Spiritual warfare.
For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of this darkness, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:12, New Heart English Bible
(That important verse is from the scripture passage we know as The Armor of God. To learn much more, including how we put God’s armor on, read The Armor of God posts here on Choosing Peace.)
The warfare
Now that the malignant narcissist is dead, I can say it all.
The people in the house where I grew up were at war. We were at war every day. Spiritual warfare was going on in the house. Even after we grew up, moved out and moved on, the spiritual warfare remained—even when we couldn’t see it.
The victory
Pam, The Punisher… Pam, The Almighty… The Spider—enslaved by darkness—fought ‘til the end. And she lost. She lost everything. Her life. Her control. The war.
God Almighty was victorious.
We did our part, with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. But God fought the battles for us. And he always wins.
The response and the song
How do I respond to everything God did that first week last year—and as the events unfolded? I respond in worship and immense gratitude. That’s why I chose the song below. I think you’ll love it.
Coming next: There were several other big weeks last year. I’ll pick another one to explore. Come back next time.
Thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Matthew 6:19-21
Song: “Honest Offering” by CAIN
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