Us vs. them—the end
Today on Choosing Peace, you’ll read about rooftops, an article and betrayal. Before we dig into our last post about Us vs. Them, let’s do a recap.
Last month, I wrote a post about my favorite small town. At the end, I mentioned the four barriers to forgiving: Pride, fear, anger and denial. What’s the goal here? To tear down all four barriers to forgiving—pride, fear, anger and denial. Why did we start with denial? In my mind—and my life—denial clearly stands out as The Big Dog of those four barriers. Lies sit firmly entrenched at the heart of denial. Personally, I have experience with all four types or flavors of denial. Maybe you do too.
The four flavors
Denial
Justifications and Excuses
Us vs. Them
Gallows Humor
The first flavor
Name: Denial
Flavor: Vanilla
Nickname: The Granddaddy
Core message: “Problem? What problem.”
Translation: “There is no problem. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The second flavor
Name: Justifications and Excuses
Flavor: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Nickname: The Salesman
Core message: “Because I had a good reason, I did the right thing.”
From part 1: “I’m selling my version of reality and I’m expecting you to buy it.”
The third flavor
Name: Us vs. Them
Flavor: Pistachio Almond
Nickname: The Cheerleader
Core message: “Because we’re right and they’re wrong, we’re doing the right thing.”
Translation: “We’re on Team Good. They’re on Team Evil. ’Nuff said.”
More from part 1:
The connection
What makes denial a barrier to forgiving? When I don’t acknowledge a trauma or loss, I don’t take healing steps—unpacking what happened, doing the work of grieving, or—oftentimes—forgiving.
♦ No problem? No awareness.
♦ No problem? No response.
♦ No problem? No healing.
Strength in numbers
When we’re in a battle, there’s strength in numbers—whether we’re doing the right thing or the wrong thing.
Roles
In part 2, we looked at the Us vs. Them mentality inherent in football, and the different roles people play—the players, the cheerleaders and the fans. We explored the evil of slavery in part 2 and part 3, including the many different types of players in this elaborate Us vs. Them system. Think of the in-your-face and behind-the-scenes accomplices as the cheerleaders and the casual observers as the fans.
Danger
Today we’ll look at Us vs. Them—the third flavor of denial—in war, in abortion and in sick families. Why are we looking at Us vs. Them in such detail, in three different posts? Because Us vs. Them thinking often results in violence. We must be watchful, be conscious and beware. Is our Us vs. Them thinking in line with God’s thinking? When we experience or embrace Us vs. Them thinking, are we encountering good vs. evil or something else?
When we participate in a good vs. evil type of Us vs. Them,
are we on Team Good or Team Evil?
Us vs. Them—in war
The players—ordinary men
Christopher Browning’s masterpiece, Ordinary Men*, reveals how average middle-aged men drafted into Nazi Germany’s Reserve Police morphed from being truck drivers, salesmen, teachers, construction workers and waiters1—not to mention, husbands and fathers—into being a highly-skilled and calloused execution squad. Ordinary, everyday men became “the players” in a deadly extermination program called The Final Solution in Poland during World War 2. Let’s explore some of their Us vs. Them thinking and the resulting atrocities.
Attitudes and actions
The Jewish people were called dirty2, suspects3 and parasites4. After many types of execution “actions,” followed by the deportation of more than 42,000 Jewish people from ghettos to the Treblinka gas chambers5—by one battalion alone—along with the necessary “mopping up” executions6, Battalion 101 moved into the “Jew hunt” phase7. Their job was to make Poland judenfrei or “free of Jews8.”
Hunter and prey
During the merciless “Jew hunts,” all Jews who’d escaped from the ghettos and previous extermination “actions” or jumped from trains were hunted in large sweeps through forests—tracked and “shot like animals9.” Grenades were thrown into underground bunkers. The Jews who survived the grenades came out of the bunkers and were forced to lie down on the ground for the customary “neck shot10.” Browning describes this “tenacious, remorseless” long-term campaign of hunter and prey11.
Us vs. Them.
*Ordinary Men: Reserve Police Battalion 101 and the Final Solution in Poland by Christopher Browning.
1: p. 47; 2: p. 152; 3: p. 123; 4: p. 44; 5: p. 121; 6: p. 107; 7: chapter 14; 8: p. 121; 9: p. 123; 10: p. 126; 11: p. 132.
The cheerleaders—accomplices
Who were the accomplices in this massive extermination program? Polish citizens were recruited and rewarded for serving as trackers and informants12 for the German Reserve Police. These informants were referred to as “Polish guides13.” In contrast, sympathizers who hid Jews in their homes were shot and their farms were burned down14.
Many Polish citizens served as accomplices against their Jewish neighbors. Who drove the trains to the extermination camps? Who nailed the train cars shut15? The main street of Parczew was paved with Jewish gravestones16. Who dug up the gravestones and did the paving? And let’s not forget the many, many government employees and the propaganda pushers in Germany and elsewhere. The Final Solution in Poland and throughout Europe was a massive machine with thousands of participants. Ordinary men and women.
Us vs. Them.
*Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning.
12: p. 156; 13: p. 126; 14: p. 156-157; 15: p. 94; 16: p. 89.
The fans—casual observers
Some people found the atrocities entertaining—in a similar way to the Roman Colosseum’s murderous games.
A young Reserve Police captain brought his new bride to watch “the clearing” of one of the Jewish ghettos—the screaming, the beatings, the shootings—and she watched “at close range17.” During the massive deportations from the ghettos, some of the policemen had to be assigned to clear out the “Polish spectators” from the train stations, where beatings and shootings were used “without restraint18.” The policemen couldn’t cram all the Jewish people into the train cars, so remaining Jews were taken to the cemetery for execution, and the “eager spectators” had to be dispersed19. Poles watched the “Jew hunt” shootings and were ordered to bury the bodies20. Polish people stood or sat on rooftops to watch one of the “harvest festival” locations where 16,500 to 18,000 Jews who had been in work camps were executed using submachine guns21.
Us vs. Them.
*Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning.
17: p. 92-93; 18: p. 108; 19: p. 108; 20: p. 124; 21: p. 139.
Role of alcohol
We tend to think of substance abuse as a coping mechanism for victims, but that isn’t necessarily the case. In part 2, I addressed the role of alcohol in slavery—used by some slave owners to control their slaves. What role does alcohol play with the aggressors or perpetrators of violence? What role did alcohol play in the genocide of the Jewish people during World War 2? Peaceful Readers, it was substantial.
Anytime, anywhere
At night, after Battalion 101’s first face-to-face shooting action, they were provided with “generous quantities” of liquor and they “drank heavily22.” Hiwis—auxiliary volunteers—recruited from Soviet POW camps23 arrived at an execution action in Lomazy drinking out of vodka bottles with their lunches. An SS officer and Reserve Police lieutenant were also “drinking heavily” and were “visibly drunk24.” The “vicious” lieutenant was described as “drunk senseless” and a “drunkard” in general25. One of the policemen said his comrades drank heavily because all the shootings made life “quite intolerable sober26.” Many of the Hiwis held liquor bottles while they shot Jewish people from the edge of a mass grave, and the shooters decreased in number as they deteriorated “into a drunken stupor27.”
During one of the clearings of the Jewish ghetto in Miedzyrzec—a joint action with a Hiwi unit and local Security Police—one of the Security Police officers was already wasted early in the morning. The men from the Hiwi unit “were also drunk28.” Their shooting was so wild that policemen took cover to keep from getting shot29. Dead bodies “lined the street30.” After this “transit ghetto” was “cleared,” Jews from another area were brought in to refill it31. On New Year’s Eve, some of the Security Police from a nearby town arrived in Miedzyrzec “in inebriated condition” and shot Jews “for sport” until the drunk policemen were chased away32.
Us vs. Them.
Supply and why
Shooters in a cemetery waited for a first sergeant to arrive with their “supply of vodka33.” Depending on the shooting action of the day, policemen sometimes received “special rations of alcohol” at day’s end34.
Us vs. Them.
One of the higher-ups over another battalion issued orders about the “spiritual care” of the men and blotting out their “impressions of the day35.” Sometimes musicians and other entertainers were brought in36. But mostly, their minds were numbed with vast amounts of alcohol.
Close your eyes and reflect on these things…. What does God want you to see? Acknowledge? Remember? Deal with? This section—Substance Abuse and Hypochondria—from The Trauma of Child Abuse, part 1 might get you thinking about some important aspects of your life.
*Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning.
22: p. 69; 23: p. 77; 24: p. 80; 25: p. 82; 26: p. 82; 27: p. 83; 28: p. 93; 29: p. 93; 30: p. 94; 31: p. 90-91; 32: p. 134; 33: p. 108; 34: p. 100; 35: p. 14; 36: p. 112.
The three groups
Author Christopher Browning discovered three distinct groups37 in Reserve Police Battalion 101: (1) “enthusiastic killers,” (2) compliant killers who followed orders for the most part, and (3) a small group of less than 20% who refused to shoot Jewish people.
The study and the findings
These three groups matched the findings of the famous 1971 Zimbardo Stanford prison study38. College students who passed various psychological tests and were considered normal were randomly divided into guard and prisoner populations. The experiment had to be shut down after six days due to the sadistic brutality displayed by some of the students who were guards, even though they knew they were being filmed. The conclusion of the Zimbardo prison study was that a prison setting—a high-stress Us vs. Them environment—was enough to create “aberrant, anti-social behavior” in otherwise normal, non-sadistic people39.
*Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning.
37, 38 and 39: p. 167-168.
Us
Most of us like to think we’re The Good Guys. Ordinary Men challenges our presumptions about what we would actually do in an extreme situation—war, prison, slavery. Us vs. Them conditions. What I would’ve done in my 20s would not remotely resemble what I would do now, in my late 50s. I know that. And it’s scary. As a young adult, I did not possess the character, discernment, emotional strength or Christian identity to choose rightly in conditions of extreme social pressure, duress or Us vs. Them.
This is the reality. Less than 20% of us would say no to participating in violent, cruel behavior when put in the “right” setting. Less than 20%.
That’s why I wrote earlier today: “We must be watchful, be conscious and beware. Is our Us vs. Them thinking in line with God’s thinking? …When we participate in a good vs. evil type of Us vs. Them, are we on Team Good or Team Evil?”
Your turn
Are you involved in an Us vs. Them team or group? Pray and ask God to show you the truth about your team and the other team. The deep, unspoken truth. Ask him to show you what you need to see, and what he’s calling you to do—or not do.
Us vs. Them—in abortion
Choosing sides
In her book The Walls Are Talking*, Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood director, described the chants or jingles used by the abortion industry to “crystallize the message1.” And the “pro-lifers2” were “fundamentally demonized3.” Abby considered herself “a soldier4” in an army. She wrote about the camaraderie she and the rest of the pro-abortion army felt as they battled “a common foe” and how intoxicating it was to shout “chants in unison5.” She was convinced that she stood on the right side—“the side of truth6.” Abby believed abortion was “a civil rights issue7.” Now she knows it was evil8. (In part 1, see The Warning section, including A Message to the Lawmakers….)
Abby shared this story9 in chapter 3 of The Walls Are Talking. A young pro-life woman died. She and her husband had prayed and counseled women about choosing life outside Abby’s Planned Parenthood location. The young woman’s photo and story were featured in an article. The employees at the abortion clinic—yes, Planned Parenthood is an abortion mill—were looking at the article and joking about it. The nurse said the young woman’s death proved “God is on our side” because pro-lifers kept dying. Abby was sad and disgusted by her colleagues, who were laughing about the young woman’s death.
Us vs. Them.
(Next time, we’ll dig into Gallows Humor, the last of The Four Flavors of Denial.)
Abby eventually left the abortion industry and became a strong voice for life10. Read more about Abby’s story in The Machine here on Choosing Peace.
*The Walls Are Talking: Former Abortion Clinic Workers Tell Their Stories by Abby Johnson with Kristin Detrow.
1: p. 86; 2: p. 35; 3: p. 86; 4: p. 86; 5: p. 47; 6: p. 48; 7: p. 145; 8: p. 145; 9: p. 35; 10: p. 46.
Us vs. Them—in the family
Stoking the us vs. them fire
Before we dig into The Stakeout and the way The Sociopaths used it to stoke the Us vs. Them fire, let’s do a short rewind and repeat from part 2:
Peaceful Reader, have you encountered disturbing Us vs. Them attitudes and behaviors? Have you seen what groups can do—empowered by “We’re right; you’re wrong” or “We’re in; you’re out” thinking?
Evil often masquerades itself using Us vs. Them.
It happens in families. It happens in schools. It happens in churches. It happens in businesses. It happens in societies. Close your eyes and remember….
The sneak attack and the stakeout
Six years ago on the Sunday before Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday), our family encountered my sociopathic in-laws, Andrew and Delia. Sort of. We were totally done with them by that point—the sociopaths, the attacks, the craziness. But, in true sociopathic fashion, they lived in Oppositeville and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Plus, everything was about putting on the Norman Rockwell, We’re A Happy, Normal Family Show at holidays; and our absence was a colossal embarrassment.
A sociopathic-styled drop-off
Brandon and I were heading out to the lake after church to pick up our boat—and we squeezed in an afternoon sail. Andrew, my sociopathic father-in-law, left Brandon a strange voice mail about dropping off our son Logan’s birthday presents. (For those of you who are in-the-know, we call this a sneak attack. This particular flavor involves showing up uninvited and unwanted to shock the targets, pour on the drama, and exert maximum control.) But, unfortunately for them, we had their number and we also knew how to use a calendar. Logan’s birthday came and went two months prior.
We knew the “drop-off” had nothing to do with Logan or his birthday. It was all about buying us off—I mean loan sharking—so we’d show up for Andrew’s extended family’s Thanksgiving-fest later that week. No can do. We called Logan and warned him that his grandparents might be showing up and reminded him not to let them in—our standing rule.
Cray-cray on the Lord’s day
On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, the sociopaths showed up at our house; banged on the door for a while; dropped off bizarre, random, unwrapped “gifts” on our porch to lure Logan to the door; drove off; parked up the street for The Stakeout; saw Logan bring the stuff inside; drove back; and banged on our door—yelling for two hours.
Us vs. Them.
Not available
Logan was fully aware that his grandparents were sociopaths. (See the Quiz of Truth here.) Thankfully, he displayed wisdom beyond his years. While the sociopaths were acting crazy on our porch, Logan played video games in the back of the house and then took a nap. That totally cracks me up. Yours truly, also known as Mama Bear, deposited some of the “gifts” at Goodwill and others in the trash can. See this post for all the details.
Growing the team
What did the sociopaths do to expand their Us vs. Them team? (In the Grieving series, I called this common practice collecting. See this post.)
The timing
Three years after The Stakeout, we realized the much bigger Us vs. Them reality. George, Brandon’s oldest friend, told him some very important and very belated things Brandon needed to know. When did George finally speak the truth, pray tell? The day Andrew died. Coincidence? I think not.
Lies, manipulation, control
The sociopaths lied to everyone, saying we invited them to our house the day of The Stakeout and then refused to let them in. Yep, Peaceful Readers—that’s the way they roll. Lies, lies and more lies. And it worked. It worked like a charm.
The hostility at Andrew’s funeral was epic. Read this post for more, including the preacher, Buford Lie-Right, and his eulogy for a sociopath. Yikes.
Us vs. Them.
From friend to accomplice
Here’s a key section from that post, subtitled The End of an Era.
Why did Brandon’s supposed friend withhold all of this information for years? Why did he never ask Brandon what was going on—from Brandon’s perspective? Why did he never ask Brandon how he was doing? I’ll tell you why.
Brandon’s friend became the sociopaths’ accomplice—and more.
When we left The War Zone in 2016, George took Brandon’s place.
I didn’t understand that until I wrote those words. I had all the pieces of the puzzle, but I hadn’t put it together. What a revelation.
Brandon’s parents betrayed him his whole life, and his best friend betrayed him too. (Read the section called Ignoring the Truth.) And in the end, they betrayed him together.
Us vs. Them.
From betrayal to prayer
Betrayal hurts deeply. Peaceful Reader, did someone betray you? Close your eyes and reflect on that experience. How did you feel then? How do you feel about it now? What has God revealed to you? Pray and ask him to speak to you. Quiet your mind.
To read about my first husband’s betrayal, see Grieving Divorce—all 8 posts. God did amazing things for me.
The masquerade
In the post about Andrew’s funeral, I included a section from my journal. It ended like this:
The sociopaths lied to [everyone, including] one of Brandon’s friends so he’d believe that the evil was good and the good was evil. Textbook example.
God does not take evil lightly, and neither should we.
Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
Isaiah 5:20, World English Bible
Evil often masquerades itself using Us vs. Them.
Wrap-up
Remember all the players in 1800s slavery (part 2 and part 3). Remember the 20% from Ordinary Men who wouldn’t shoot. Remember Abby Johnson, who stood on “the side of truth” in her abortion clinic. And remember the sociopaths, Brandon and George.
Remember and beware.
Think very carefully about every Us vs. Them you’re participating in.
Coming next: We’ll wrap up The Four Flavors of Denial. Come back next time to read about frequent flyers, the company car and cookies.
Thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Psalm 130
Song: “I Will Wait for You” by Shane & Shane
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