Joseph—the second journey
When we think about the story of Joseph, we think about his coat of many colors, his brothers selling him into slavery, and the happy ending. Today on Choosing Peace, we’ll dig into some unexpected and shocking parts of his story. Get ready to read about a math teacher, a food truck, Logan’s thesis and much more.
Parental favoritism
In part 1, as we dug into Joseph’s ancestors and older brothers, the first item in The Sin Lists was parental favoritism. Isaac and Rebekah were guilty as charged in that department. Isaac loved Esau; Rebekah loved Jacob—Joseph’s father. You may be thinking, “What’s the big deal about that? As sins go, that’s pretty minor.” Let’s unpack it.
Isaac and Rebekah had twin boys, Jacob and Esau. Esau was born first, so he was slated to receive the greater inheritance and blessing. That’s the way things were done back then.
Reversal of blessing
Jacob wasn’t some greedy, bratty teenager when he tricked his father Isaac and stole his brother Esau’s blessing. In fact, he was more than 70 years old.
Lest you be misled, I must clarify some important aspects of this part of the story. Parental favoritism played a major role in the reversal of blessing in this family—the stealing, the hatred, and the long-term estrangement.
Hatcher of the plan
Jacob didn’t act alone. In fact, stealing Esau’s blessing wasn’t even his idea.
Rebekah heard her husband Isaac tell Esau that it was time to give Esau his father’s blessing. Isaac asked Esau to hunt and prepare some game for him to eat first, before Blessing Time—a majorly-big deal in those days.
And Rebekah spoke to Jacob her son…. “Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command you. Go now to the flock, and get me from there two choice young goats. I will prepare them in a tasty way for your father, the way he likes it. You shall bring it to your father, that he may eat, so that he may bless you before his death.”
Genesis 27:6a, 8-10, New Heart English Bible
The control freak and the accomplice
Did you notice Rebekah’s language? “Obey.” “I command you.” “Go now.” “Get me….” “I will….” “You shall….” Golly. Rebekah sounds like a Class-A Control Freak to me, but what do I know. Did Jacob object to his mom’s commands? Her scheme? Her evil? Nope. He only questioned whether or not it would work.
Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “Look, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man. What if my father touches me? I will seem to him as a deceiver, and I would bring a curse on myself, and not a blessing.” His mother said to him, “Let your curse be on me, my son. Only obey my voice, and go get [the goats] for me.”
Genesis 27:11-13, New Heart English Bible
Rebekah had a plan, don’t you know. She got some of Esau’s clothes and put them on Jacob. She put some of the skins of the goats on Jacob’s hands and neck to trick Isaac, who was blind. Jacob smelled like Esau and he felt like Esau. Even so, Isaac repeatedly questioned what was going on because he clearly heard Jacob’s voice. But Jacob was a confident, prolific liar. (I wonder who trained him.) And the rest is history.
The mastermind
I must say this again. Stealing Esau’s blessing wasn’t Jacob’s idea. It was his scheming mother Rebekah’s idea. The sin of parental favoritism reared its extremely ugly head. Esau was Rebekah’s first-born son and she was sabotaging him. She was hurting him. She was stealing something very important from him. She plotted, planned, commanded, cooked, grabbed Esau’s clothes, prepared the skins, etc.
Rebekah was the mastermind.
She did great evil to her husband and her son Esau.
And she trained her favorite son Jacob to participate.
Rebekah’s character was revealed in this chapter, but it wasn’t anything new. If her conniving and scheming had been out of character, Jacob wouldn’t have been such a willing and well-trained accomplice.
Our turn
I speak as one who knows. I too came from a family fractured by the sin of parental favoritism (among a plethora of other sins); so did Brandon. My mom chose Pam, The Almighty; Brandon’s mom chose Sadistic Shelly.
And my dad chose me. I was his Narcissistic Supply. Translation: It was my job to listen to his lengthy monologues and tell him how great he was. He also trained me to lie and cheat in order to impress people, so I did. His core sin was pride. (And eventually, mine was too.) Consider this story from The Trauma of Perfection, part 3:
The contest
When I was in second grade, there was an art contest at school. My dad painted this really pretty painting—a landscape that included a deer. He made me take it to school and pretend that I had painted it. Obviously, it was okay to cheat and lie as long as you were a winner—as long as you were admired. I was totally embarrassed. I didn’t win (praise God). The teachers knew I didn’t paint it. Neither of my parents ever apologized for that or for anything else. They pretended they were always right, all evidence to the contrary.
Continued practice
In 8th grade, my math teacher gave us an assignment at the beginning of the year and asked us to grade our own papers. He picked them up and separated them into two piles. He’d been in the military and he was a sharp cookie. He told us that those of us who made a 100 were cheaters and he kept our papers to remind himself of who we were. Ugh. He advised us to stop doing that. I behaved for the rest of the year in his class. Did I ever cheat again in school? Yes, I did. I remember an incident in college. Even though I didn’t get caught, I was guilty as sin, as they say.
Like Jacob, I was a liar and a cheater on occasion. Jacob and I were trained by the pros.
Purpose and progress
In the last post, I explained why Jacob had to suffer the pain of manipulation and lies at the hands of his father-in-law Laban for 20 years. He needed the Lord’s discipline. He needed to acknowledge the evil he’d participated in. He needed to become a better person. I can relate to that. Unpacking the serious dysfunction on both sides of our family and all the pain involved has helped me to acknowledge my own remaining sin, address it, replace it with virtues, and move forward on The Sanctification Causeway. Praise the Lord.
Report card time
How did Jacob do? God himself declared Jacob’s success. From part 2:
Read this remarkable paragraph about what happened that night as Jacob wrestled physically with God, who appeared like a man. At the end of their all-night wrestling match, Jacob was given three things: a limp, a blessing, and a new name.
[God] said, “Your name will no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have fought with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
Genesis 32:28, World English Bible
Israel means “he strives with God.”
Jacob was amazed. He said, “For I have seen God face to face, and my life has been preserved” ~ Genesis 32:30b, NHEB.
From weak to strong
After Jacob wrestled with God all night long, Genesis 32:28 shined the light on Jacob’s physical strength, even in his very old age. Jacob’s wrestling with men wasn’t physical; it was emotional and verbal. In the last post, we saw Jacob’s confidence and truth-speaking in the verbal wrestling ring with Laban, his manipulative father-in-law.
Jacob fought with God and men, and he prevailed.
At the end of the segment above, in verse 30, we can see his awe and reverence for God. Jacob came a long way—from a willing accomplice to a strong man in mind, body and spirit. Not perfect, but strong.
I desire to be strong in mind, body and spirit too.
The family shredder
Unfortunately, Jacob experienced The Ripple Effect of sin. He displayed parental favoritism just like his parents did. This particular sin literally tears families apart. It creates an Us vs. Them reality inside the family—a very destructive and dangerous thing.
From this post in the Forgiving series:
The violence indicator
…In my reading and personal experience, I’ve found [Us vs. Them] to be the highest indicator for violence. In other words, if people are thinking in Us vs. Them terms, there’s a higher likelihood of violence—emotional, physical or sexual.
Emotional violence includes (1) control, (2) gossip, (3) lies, (4) drama, (5) gaslighting, (6) verbal attacks, (7) ignoring (you or your boundaries), (8) sabotaging, (9) showboating—I mean monologuing, (10) troublemaking, (11) name-calling, (12) threatening, (13) inappropriate requests/demands, (14) false accusations, (15) badgering, (16) exclusion, (17) rudeness, (18) team-building—better known as “collecting,” (19) payback, (20) hostility and (21) gameplaying (which includes loan sharking).
How many of those examples of emotional violence remind you of what Rebekah did to Isaac, Esau and/or Jacob? Has someone used some of those types of emotional violence against you? Read about Us vs. Them starting here and do some serious soul searching and journaling. Emotional violence is insidious and often goes undetected for years.
Parental favoritism—the next generation
Interestingly enough, our son Logan chose parental favoritism as the subject of his senior thesis. He researched, wrote and practiced his thesis on this subject throughout his senior year of high school and presented it before his class, teachers and parents. Logan saw how parental favoritism played out for Brandon and me, and he desired to avoid it when he’s a husband and father. Go, Logan.
Watch how the sin of parental favoritism tore Joseph’s family apart in his generation.
The report
When Joseph was 17 years old, he was shepherding the family’s flock with his brothers Dan, Naphtali, Gad and Asher. We don’t know the specifics, but Joseph brought a bad report on them to their father. Do siblings sometimes complain to their parents about each other? Yes, they do. That is normal family stuff.
The coat
The next two verses paint a vivid picture of the sin of parental favoritism—the key to the splitting of this generation.
Now [Jacob] loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. And when his [brothers] saw that their father loved him more than all his [brothers], they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.
Genesis 37:3-4, King James Version
Joseph was also the first-born son of Jacob’s beloved wife Rachel.
Joseph’s colorful, fancy coat gave his brothers a slap in the face every time they saw him. The coat reminded them that their father adored Joseph, not them. Jacob favored Joseph, not them. And Jacob spoiled Joseph, not them. Joseph’s brothers couldn’t stand him.
The dreams
Then Joseph told his brothers about two dreams he had. In each dream, his brothers were bowing down to him. Needless to say, Joseph’s decision to share these dreams with the brothers who clearly hated him was foolish, at best. Yes, 17-year-olds and 60-year-olds sometimes speak without thinking. We all understand that. Unfortunately, Joseph’s foolishness or lack of restraint cost him dearly. How did his brothers respond?
So they hated him all the more for his dreams and for what he said.
Genesis 37:8b, New Heart English Bible
The snitch and the experience
One day while Joseph’s brothers were shepherding the flock, Jacob sent Joseph to check on them. Joseph, the brat. Joseph, the tattle-tail. Joseph, the favorite, wearing his flashy, one-of-a-kind coat.
Now they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them they plotted against him to kill him.
Genesis 37:18, New Heart English Bible
You may be thinking, Why in the world would their first thought be murder? I’ll tell you why. They already had experience in that department. You may want to get comfortable and grab a piece of chocolate or some other treat before reading the next part of the story. It’s rather mind-blowing.
The prince and their sister
Let’s step back in time. After the family left Grandpa Laban’s Big Farm, they sojourned in the land of Canaan. One of the places they settled was near the city of Shechem. Joseph was probably still a young boy at the time.
Dinah, the daughter whom Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the region. When Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of the land, saw her, he grabbed her, and raped her, and humiliated her. Then he became very attached to Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the young woman, and spoke kindly to the young woman. Shechem spoke to his father, Hamor, saying, “Get me this young woman as my wife.”
Genesis 34:1-4, New Heart English Bible
Needless to say, raping Dinah did not go over well with Jacob or his sons. They were livid.
Deal-making and deal-breaking
King Hamor and his son Shechem stopped by. The king basically said, “My son wants to marry Dinah. Let’s be friends. We’ll trade together, be neighborly and intermarry.”
Shechem said to her father and to her brothers, “Let me find favor in your sight, and whatever you ask of me I will give.”
Genesis 34:11, New Heart English Bible
Prince Shechem, The Rapist had kidnapped Dinah, pending their posh nuptials—I mean royal wedding. Little did the prince know that Dinah’s brothers would take him at his word: “Whatever you ask of me I will give.” Dinah’s brothers tricked The Powers That Be, telling them that all the males in the city had to be circumcised in order for them to become pals. Hamor and Shechem brought the proposal to the men of the city, they agreed to it, and they were all circumcised.
It happened on the third day, when they were still in pain, that two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each took his sword and came into the unsuspecting city and killed all the males.
Genesis 34:25, New Heart English Bible
Mass murder, plundering, enslaving
Simeon and Levi committed mass murder of every man, boy and male newborn in the city, and they took Dinah home. Then the other brothers stepped over the dead bodies, took all the hysterical women and female children, and plundered every house in the city, plus all the flocks and crops. No living person was left there.
Peaceful Reader, this is one of the most shocking stories in the Old Testament. Even when adults study Joseph, this part of the story is conveniently left out. (Ditto for chapter 9 of Esther.) Joseph’s brothers, Simeon and Levi, murdered many people, including children and babies. Based on the text, I believe the other adult brothers were well aware of this plan. God Almighty didn’t command them to kill these people and plunder the city. They did it because they wanted to. They replaced the truth with a lie—declaring every male person guilty, when only one male person was guilty. They didn’t simply enact justice on Prince Shechem, the guilty party.
Joseph’s 10 adult brothers went on a
premeditated killing and plundering spree.
And they captured people.
Jacob didn’t know what his sons had done until it was over. (See chapter 34 of Genesis about Dinah and Shechem.)
The murder plot
Let’s return to the story of Joseph when he was 17. In addition to their obvious hatred, “[Joseph’s] brothers were jealous of him” ~ Genesis 37:11a, NHEB. Indeed. And, as we’ve discovered, they had experience in The Murder Department, so they hatched their plan as Joseph walked toward them.
“Come now, and let’s kill him and throw him into one of the cisterns, and we will say that a vicious animal has devoured him. Then we will see what will become of his dreams.”
Genesis 37:20, New Heart English Bible
Plan B
The oldest, Reuben, heard what his brothers were saying and talked them out of it. “Let’s not take his life” ~ v. 21, NHEB. He suggested throwing Joseph into a pit. Reuben planned to rescue Joseph later. When Joseph arrived, his brothers took his colorful coat/robe and threw him into the pit.
Then they sat down and ate. Rather disturbing, isn’t it? I imagine their lunchtime banter like this: “Hand me another pomegranate, will you?” “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you over the screaming.” “Hey, let’s go sit under that tree over yonder. It’s too noisy over here.”
Inside the pit
It’s difficult to imagine what the inside of that pit or cistern must have been like for young Joseph. Dark. Smelly. Terrifying. And he knew who put him there. Did he hear his brothers talking about killing him? Were they laughing?
Peaceful Reader, have you ever been someplace where you couldn’t get out? Have you ever been locked in a closet or someplace else? If so, what do you remember about that experience? Get out your journal and do some reflecting.
Solitary confinement
When our family visited Alcatraz years ago, we were allowed to step inside The Hole—where inmates experienced pitch-black solitary confinement. It was eerie to open your eyes and not be able to see anything at all. Very, very creepy. One of the former inmates who narrated our recorded tour commented about how they could hear the people of San Francisco laughing, partying and having a great time at night. They could hear the life they were no longer a part of.
Plan C
While Joseph’s brothers were eating, they looked up and noticed a caravan of Ishmaelite traders on their way to Egypt. Apparently, some of Joseph’s brothers were still thinking about killing him.
Then Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? Come, and let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites, and not lay a hand on him, for he is our brother, our flesh.” And his brothers agreed. So the Midianite* merchants passed by, and they… lifted Joseph out of the cistern, and sold Joseph to the Ishmaelites* for twenty pieces of silver. And they brought Joseph to Egypt.
Genesis 37:26-28, New Heart English Bible
*Midianite and Ishmaelite are interchangeable names for the same group.
The absence and the cover-up
Reuben missed that part of the day’s escapades. He must have gone into town to get his lunch from a food truck. When he checked the pit and found it empty, he tore his clothes in despair—which begs the question. Why in the world did Reuben leave the scene when his brothers were talking about murdering Joseph? That, without a doubt, is The Question of The Day.
[Reuben] went back to his brothers and said, “The boy is gone. Now, what am I to do?” They took Joseph’s robe and killed a male goat and dipped the robe in the blood. And… they brought it to their father, and said, “We found this. Please examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe or not.” And he recognized it, and said, “It is my son’s robe. A vicious animal has devoured him. Joseph is without doubt torn to pieces.” Then Jacob tore his clothes, and put sackcloth around his waist, and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, “Indeed, I will go down to Sheol to my son mourning.” And his father wept for him.
Genesis 37:30-35, New Heart English Bible
Do you see the destruction of the sin of parental favoritism? Do you feel the danger of Us vs. Them thinking?
Your turn
Peaceful Reader, did you experience any parental favoritism growing up? When you read the words Us vs. Them, who comes to mind? Close your eyes and think carefully. Pray and ask God to show you what you need to see. Get out your journal or a piece of paper and do some reflecting.
If you experienced parental favoritism as a child, what was the impact—when you lived at home and after you moved out? Describe your extended family relationships today. Review the Sin Lists in part 1. What are your family’s Sin Lists in previous and current generations? Have you seen any parental favoritism in your extended family or in a friend’s family? If so, what were the long-term results?
Is there any parental favoritism going on in your family? If so, what will you do to correct it? (Read about love languages here.) A variety of vices can contribute to the sin of parental favoritism: pride, control/disrespect, fear, anger, lying, etc. For a list of many (but not all) virtues and vices, read The Inner State section of this post. Consider working with a great counselor. As a generational sin, parental favoritism can be difficult to break.
May the Lord bless you and help you as you seek to replace vices with virtues.
The horror
For some of us, having heard the Bible story about Joseph since we were little children can desensitize us to the true horror of it.
These 10 brothers—grown men in their 20s, 30s or older—did a horrifying, evil thing to their teenage brother. Not one of them told their father Jacob the truth. They orchestrated the cover-up. They told the lies. And they watched their father cry his eyes out.
Jacob’s sons sold their brother Joseph into slavery,
convinced their father that his favorite son was dead,
and broke their father’s heart.
I wonder what they did with the money.
And people do the same evil thing every day in our wonderful, modern society—only we call it trafficking now. Some parents sell their own children. But the vast majority of victims are tricked and kidnapped. For more on trafficking, see Current Events in the index. Also, go to Evil in the index to explore slavery.
Joseph’s second journey
When Joseph was six years old, he took his first journey with his family—away from Grandpa Laban’s Big Farm. Explore part 2 for that fascinating part of the story.
When Joseph was 17, he took his second journey with total strangers—slaves and slave traders.
Destination: Egypt.
Reflection, a song and a prayer
As you consider Joseph’s experience in the pit and the slave caravan, listen carefully and thoughtfully to the song below. Logan’s high school chorale sang this haunting, beautiful song during one of their Christmas programs. It grabbed my heart. I hope it grabs yours too. The words were scratched on a wall in Germany by a Jew hiding during World War 2.
Even When He Is Silent
I believe in the sun, even when it’s not shining.
I believe in love, even when I feel it not.
I believe in God, even when he is silent.
Offer a prayer for the millions of men, women and children in slavery today. Pray for their rescue. Pray for justice. And thank the Lord for his love and his presence.
Coming next: Watch God’s hand on Joseph’s life as a slave in Egypt, plus the continued battle between good and evil. Until next time, thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Isaiah 49:13
Song: “Even When He Is Silent” by St. Olaf Choir
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