The bear
On Thursday as I was driving to work, the cars ahead of me slowed down, drastically. When you’re accustomed to driving the speed limit (or faster) on the highway, and you find yourself traveling at single digits, like three miles per hour, that is—as I say on occasion—no bueno. After a while, an electronic sign told us that a wreck took place in the right lane a couple exits ahead, so most of us started moving into the left lane. We drove by the accident location—looking for The Cause of Our Delay—and it wasn’t there. It was gone.
Later today, you’ll read about a dream I had several years ago. In my dream, I drove up to the scene of an accident. Someone was gone and someone unexpected was nearby.
The verse
As we continue exploring the Spirit of truth—one of the names for the Holy Spirit—here’s our key verse from the book of John.
“However when he, the Spirit of truth, has come,
he will guide you into all truth,
for he will not speak on his own;
but whatever he hears he will speak,
and he will declare to you things that are coming.”
John 16:13, New Heart English Bible
Encounters with the Holy Spirit
Part 2 included a déjà vu I experienced when I was little and some startling audible encounters with the Holy Spirit four years ago. Let’s use this quick rewind and repeat from part 2 as our intro to today’s topic: Dreams.
How he guides us
What are some of the ways the Holy Spirit shows us, tells us and guides us to the truth?
Thru spiritual encounters—like dreams, visions, déjà vus.
Thru written encounters—like the Bible, other books and writings, our journals.
Thru spoken/audible encounters—like the Holy Spirit speaking in our thoughts, the words of Christ-followers, sermons, music.
High-impact
In the Grieving series, I explored a number of dreams—Brandon’s and mine. This quote from The Big Why, part 7 describes dreams and some of their importance and impact. “Dreams are vivid, colorful and extremely expressive—both visually and in the feelings they evoke. They not only tell a story, but we are in the story. We are in the truths that are revealed.”
Dreams that revealed the truth
The Holy Spirit has blessed Brandon and me with many dreams that showed us the truth about the sick people in our lives and how dangerous they were. You may have read about some of the dreams listed below—and more—here on Choosing Peace. Let’s take a walk down memory lane in The Dream Department.
The themes
But first, let’s explore what these 12 dreams have in common. What themes ran through them?
Common themes: Evil, death and danger; fear, confusion and being lost; being confronted, attacked and misled; being surrounded, chased and followed; being punished, confined and controlled; the involvement of the accomplices and casual observers; attackers pretending the evil wasn’t there and refusing to leave. Yikes.
On a very positive note, Brandon’s repeated dream—The New, Vast Estate (dream #9)—also showed the vastness and beauty of Life Without Sociopaths. Thanks be to God.
The list
1. My mom—see The Dream About My Mom thru The Interpretation in this post
2. My dad—see The Dream About My Dad thru The Interpretation in this post
3. Spiders crawling all over me—see Early Warning in this post and scroll up for more
4. Brandon’s family—see Crumbling Houses thru The Creepy One in this post
5. The real Delia—see Short and Powerful in this post
6. Delia on our porch—see The Silent Chaos in this post
7. Terrorized at work—see The Concentration Camp in this post
8. Brandon’s authority—see The Victory, Closer to Home and Control vs. Respect in this post
9. A repeated dream—see The New, Vast Estate thru The Beauty in this post
10. A three-part dream—see The Reunion, the Parking Lot and The Hotel thru The Damage and the Infection in this post
11. Another three-part dream—see The Wolves thru The Warning and The Armor in this post
12. Snakes in the house—see The Snakes thru The Evil in this post
Maximum impact
Why were we given so many dreams with related themes? We needed to see—repeatedly—the seriousness of what was going on. These dreams were essential for our healing. And we wouldn’t have remembered most of them if I hadn’t journaled about them. Writing and reflecting on our dreams here on Choosing Peace ratcheted up the healing—giving us maximum impact.
Peaceful Reader, when you have a memorable dream, write it down. Keep a journal about your life, including your dreams. Journaling can help you learn so much about yourself and how God is working—in your life and in the lives of your loved ones.
Two more dreams
While I was writing this post, the Holy Spirit reminded me repeatedly of two other dreams that I hadn’t written about before—one from my childhood and one that was relatively recent.
The danger in the house
We lived in Virginia when I was five to 12 years old—from Kindergarten through 7th grade. The house had a large basement. I dreamed that I was coming up the stairs from the basement. It was dark. A man was following me up the stairs. He was scary. I was almost to the door. I could see the light under the door. The man reached out to put his hand on my shoulder. Then I woke up, terrified.
The interpretation
There was danger in the house. The danger was a man that I didn’t recognize. From my young perspective, he was a stranger who had broken into the house. But there was only one man in the house—my dad. I didn’t see him rightly. I didn’t understand who he was. It was dark. I couldn’t see the truth.
For more about my dad, the narcissist, and how I unpacked our relationship, read The Trauma of Perfection, starting with part 2.
Nightmares
We intuitively think nightmares are bad. They’re scary. We don’t like them. But here’s the thing. Most of the dreams in the list above would fall into the nightmare category. So, why would God give us scary dreams—nightmares? Why does he do that? Because the nightmares show us the danger. They show us the truth. They warn us. They give us a picture of things we need to understand. They give us essential clues.
Digging for the truth
God wants us to wake up from our sleep and not forget what we saw. What we felt. What we dreamed. Find out why. Find out what it means.
Nightmares shock and scare us, which helps us to remember them.
And we need to remember them so we can find out what they mean.
Repeated nightmares
I met a woman who had repeated nightmares about her grandfather when she was young. In these nightmares, her grandfather was chasing her outside at night and she was terrified of him. She was frantically knocking on neighbors’ doors, hoping someone would let her in. If I remember right, I think her grandfather’s eyes were glowing.
In real life, he was sexually abusing her. She didn’t understand the nightmares as a little girl. Now she does.
Your turn
Peaceful Reader, have you unpacked your nightmares? Do you understand them? If not, get out your journal and start writing about what you remember and what you think each nightmare means. Take your time. Think about it. Pray and ask God to help you. One step at a time.
The bear
Four years ago today, I encountered The Bear.
Monday, September 24
Journal entry
I had a strange dream. I drove up on a severe wreck on the road near Natural Grocers. A motorcycle and truck had collided. The mangled motorcycle and the rider’s helmet were on the ground. I was sure that the person was dead.
Then I saw a very large, golden-colored bear asleep, curled up near me on the side of the road. He awoke and saw me. I drove off and [later I] was walking around in a home improvement store. There were lots of teenagers there before school. One of the teachers mistook me for a student. We both smiled when he realized his mistake.
The bear had followed me and found me. I think we were outside. He talked to me and held my hand. His claws hurt my hand, but he was clearly not intending to hurt me. I was not afraid of him anymore.
As I thought about the dream, I felt that the bear was Brandon.
Theme: Brandon is safe now.
Unpacking the dream
The man riding the motorcycle died in a collision near my new favorite grocery store—a store that became a part of our family’s healthier living. Hmmm. The man was Brandon. The old Brandon.
Danger at home
Brandon grew up in a very dangerous place—physically, mentally and spiritually. His parents were both sociopaths, his sister Shelly was extremely violent, and so was his grandfather who lived next door. When Brandon was a boy, his grandfather used to beat him with a horse bridle—with its leather straps and the metal bit at one end. Brandon mentioned this to me for the first time last month, saying he probably deserved it. I told him that he most certainly did not. No one does.
Danger away from home
When Brandon was young, he rode his bike. When he got older, he rode motorcycles. He had to escape, physically, from the farm. He had to get away from that place. From those people. But there was danger away from home too. God saved Brandon’s life multiple times from car and motorcycle wrecks.
No more
Brandon had a couple different motorcycles early in our marriage. I wasn’t a fan, but I rode with him occasionally. When Logan was a preschooler, I asked Brandon not to ride motorcycles anymore. The risks were too great. He agreed, and sold his last motorcycle. I was very grateful. And relieved.
Giving up motorcycle riding—laying it down—removed a danger from our family. A real danger. Several years later, my friend Summer’s husband was hospitalized after a motorcycle accident that ruptured his spleen. Brandon’s friend George, in his late-twenties, was riding a touring motorcycle with his sister on the back. They were in an accident. The handlebars hit George mid-torso and his sister slammed into him, resulting in a ruptured organ or two, maybe his spleen. In the motorcycle world, the phrase isn’t “if you go down”—it’s “when you go down.”
Home improvement
Before I started writing this post, I hadn’t ever thought about what the Lowe’s store meant in this dream. In real life, there’s a Lowe’s right across the street from the Natural Grocers where I shop. I think the significance of that part of the dream can be found in the words home and improvement.
The teenagers in the home improvement store were the same age as Brandon was when he began riding motorcycles. Much has changed in Brandon’s life since his teen years. He has a new home, a new family and a new life. Home improvement describes those many life changes. That is so clever. Thank you, Holy Spirit.
The bear
I first saw the golden-colored bear right after I saw the remains of the motorcycle crash. The bear was close by. And he saw me. At first, he frightened me. He was really big. Later, as he talked to me and walked with me and held my hand, I realized that he was safe. I was safe with him, even though his claws hurt my hands. That gave me a warm and comforting picture of Brandon—a big, cuddly teddy bear. I started calling him Blond Bear as a fond nickname after I had this dream. He likes that.
The Bear showed me God’s good purpose for Brandon and me—for Brandon to lay down dangerous things that he once used to protect himself and for us to walk together hand-in-hand. Yes, we hurt each other sometimes. Leaving the darkness and the hardships of the past requires truth, courage and many other virtues, like forgiving. We’ve come a long way. It’s good to walk through this life together.
It’s so, so good. To God be the glory.
Coming next: Today’s post surprised me—in a good way. Next time, we’ll dig into some of the great things the Spirit of truth can give us through our dreams, like strength and encouragement. Part 4 will also include some of my favorite dreams from the Bible.
Until then, thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Healing through truth and music
Peaceful Readers, I’ve found great healing in my life through the beauty and truth of God’s word and through music. I hope the truths and songs that I share at the end of each post will bless you too.
Truth from The Word: Genesis 31:11
Song for Healing: When I went looking for the song for this post, God gave me this song right away. I’d never heard it before. Be blessed today by this truth: “God Is in This Story” by Katy Nichole & Big Daddy Weave.