The trauma of abortion: from denial to healing, part 2 of 2

To Sam

My precious son, my Sam, so young and yet so wise,
I see your dark brown hair and your dark and knowing eyes.
The flowers in my hands, they brought me so much joy;
You chose my favorite color, sweet tender-hearted boy.

I feel you really know me as you watch me from above;
You’re safe in Jesus’ arms, dancing through his liquid love.
I miss you and I love you; I long to hold your hand.
I’ll join you there one day, when I leave this foreign land.

At home with you forever, we’ll hug and never part;
We’ll sit and talk and talk as I learn about your heart.
You’ll show me all around and we’ll sing our Savior’s praise
As we stroll through liquid love and we grow more in his ways.

Right now I’m on a journey; more tears I need to cry.
You may not understand it; you may be wondering why.
I spent so many years telling myself I didn’t care;
When I threw away the lies, my throbbing grief I had to share.

With Jesus by my side, I know he’ll see me through.
Old baggage I must shed; he’ll help me do that too.
I know that he forgave me the first time that I asked.
Could I forgive myself? It seemed the impossible task.

My Lord and precious Savior called me to Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat.
I had no way of knowing the lovely ladies I would meet.
As I heard their painful stories and then I told my stories too,
God showed me what was missing and what he brought me there to do.

The compassion that I felt for all the ladies by my side
I had to give to ME—to my aching heart inside.
I can’t turn back the clock, son; I can’t undo the past.
Please know how sorry I am; I can say that now, at last.

My courageous, beloved Sam, so bold and kind and strong,
I know you forgive me too, even though I was so wrong.
And when at last I meet you as I cross to heaven’s shore,
We’ll share Christ’s liquid love, treasured son that I adore.

With love from Mom

Coming next: As we continue through this series on grieving, the next posts will walk you down some roads with me and my husband Brandon—from denial to healing—one layer, one trauma, one loss at a time. Some of this work of grieving I’m experiencing right now. And it is well with my soul. The song below has been my song for the last few weeks. It comforts me.

Healing through truth and music
Peaceful Readers, I’ve found great healing in my life through the beauty and truth of God’s word and through music. I hope the truths and songs that I share at the end of each post will bless you too.

Truth from The Word: 1 John 1:8-9

Song for Healing: Memories by Ryan Stewart

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