Abraham and Sarah
Welcome back, Peaceful Readers. Last time on Choosing Peace, we walked through our Faith Intro and covered the first three people commended in The Hall of Faith—Abel, Enoch and Noah. I learned a lot. I hope you did too. Today we’ll learn about Abraham and Sarah, the only married couple included in The Hall of Faith. And that is a big deal.
We don’t find a perfect husband or wife in the Bible, and I reckon that’s a good thing. No husband or wife was ever perfect.
In today’s post, I’m featuring photos from two very different Christian weddings that took place 12 years ago. One was a backyard wedding and one was a big church wedding. One was down the street and one was out of town. One was a precious, do-it-yourselfer and one was fancy.
A new family
As I like to say in cards to brides and grooms:
“A wedding is the birth of a new family.”
Regardless of the size or location of the ceremony, weddings are a big deal. The engagement. The planning. The hopes. The dreams. The big day.
Most brides and grooms go into marriage filled with hope for the future. “We love each other. Life will be great!” A new family has begun.
When this groom washed his bride’s feet at their wedding, he was communicating: “I will be a servant leader to you, my love, like Jesus was to his disciples.” (See this post about The Last Supper.) It was a heartwarming moment and a beautiful reminder about servanthood for all the husbands and wives present.
After the wedding, some surprises come our way—some wonderful, some awful. The reality is this: We have no idea what’s coming. No idea whatsoever. And, frankly, that’s a good thing.
“To have and to hold…”
“I, _______, take you, _______ to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God, I make this vow.”
A new life—together
We walk into our new life, all starry-eyed, remembering our courtship and wedding—celebrating accomplishments, milestones and victories together. So many new beginnings…. Making a new home together. Perhaps a new job, church and/or friends. New daily routines. New expectations. New plans for the future. Husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs.
Making things right
Before we move forward, Peaceful Readers, we must acknowledge a serious problem in our society.
Living together isn’t marriage. It isn’t God’s way. I implore our world:
Please do things God’s way. He knows best.
The Lord can bestow blessings through marriage
that he won’t bestow through cohabitation.
Don’t forfeit his blessings.
A man and woman who aren’t married to each other and are living together in a sexual relationship are fornicating—a sin against self and God. See these words of Jesus in Matthew 15:18-20.
The marriage project
I knew a lady whose church helped couples make things right in this vital area. The church taught God’s ways about sex and marriage, couples had to live separately for a time (two weeks or a month—I forget), and the church set aside a day when committed couples who desired to honor God and themselves got married—one small wedding per hour. They could book their reception elsewhere or bring a cake to the church. I love that!
Will you share this information with your church leadership so you, Peaceful Reader, can be a shining light in our world—helping couples trapped in a sinful lifestyle to experience flourishing by living God’s way? Couples in your church need your help. Their friends, relatives and neighbors need your help. Think of it as The Marriage Project.
Being a beacon
Our culture teaches wrong things pervasively—wrong things about marriage, wrong things about fidelity, wrong things about children. (See Abortion in the index.) Sadly, most preachers don’t preach boldly about sin to protect their people. Sin erodes. Honor builds. And wisdom protects. We hear non-stop lies throughout society, and many Christians don’t know basic truths about sin—or salvation. (See Jesus and Sin in the index.)
Be a beacon of truth in a misled and darkening world.
Please pray about The Marriage Project, and share this post as the Lord leads you. Many thanks from yours truly, Frankie Ann.
A good marriage and the journey
Brandon and I have experienced the truth of this saying:
A good marriage multiplies your joys and divides your sorrows.
Before the two of us could consistently experience those truths, we had to take The Healing Journey—figuring out the unspoken, hidden things in our difficult backgrounds, and working things through—individually and as a couple. Every step forward made a difference. Every truth spoken. Every important conversation. It wasn’t easy, but it was exceedingly worthwhile. What a relief to be on the other side of so many challenges.
For those of you who are married, I hope you’ve experienced the truth of the saying too: “A good marriage multiplies your joys and divides your sorrows.” If things are rough right now, help is here for you. Dig into these two posts:
1. The good way: Marriage (part 1 of The Armor of God)
2. Roles and responsibilities (part 5 of The Beauty of the Bible)
For more, take a look at Marriage in the index.
Hard times
Eventually in every marriage, some shocking things arrive. The accident. The loss. The crime. The diagnosis. The attack. A good friendship ends. Unresolved traumas creep in or erupt. Things we thought were true are—indeed—not true. Relatives can be exceedingly challenging. We clash at times. Job stress, an unexpected move, parenting issues, the flood in the house, contact from the ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, etc.
Life is hard.
No one gets a pass from difficulty. No one. If you missed it, watch this excellent sermon: “Stewarding Our Sufferings.”
During hard times, we have the opportunity to come closer to God and to each other as husband and wife. But—let’s face it: Sometimes, we blow it. Abraham and Sarah provide colorful examples in that department.
Aren’t you glad your worst moments haven’t been recorded for people to read and comment about for thousands of years? I sure am. It’s easy for us to say, “I would never…” or “I can’t believe….” Honestly, though: “There—but for the grace of God—go I.” In other words, “That could be ME!”
We aren’t as squeaky-clean as we’d like to think. (Or—at the other extreme—we aren’t as hopeless.)
Abraham and Sarah
Before we explore their commendations in The Hall of Faith, let’s learn some basics about Abraham and Sarah from the book of Genesis.
New names
When Abram was 99 years old, God appeared to him and declared his covenant with Abram—(1) to make him the father of many nations (which was told to him many times), (2) to institute circumcision for males, and (3) to change Abram’s name to Abraham, which means “father of the multitude.”
During the same encounter, God told Abraham that his wife would no longer be called Sarai. Her name would be Sarah.
“And I will bless her, and moreover I will give you a son by her. And I will bless her, and she will be a mother of nations. Kings of peoples will come from her.”
Genesis 17:16, New Heart English Bible
Even though many of the key events covered below took place before their names were changed, I’m referring to this famous couple as Abraham and Sarah throughout this post.
Moving and might
When Abraham was 75 and Sarah was 65, they left their home and their people, obeying the instructions of the Lord. They lived in tents in different places as they followed God toward and in the land of Canaan—specifically, to Shechem, between Bethel and Ai, then Egypt (due to famine), into the Negeb, Hebron, by the oaks of Mamre, between Kadesh and Shur, Gerar, Beersheba and the land of the Philistines, and perhaps additional places.
One thing I didn’t grasp about Abraham before writing this post was his authority, wealth and position. He owned vast flocks, was also rich in gold and silver, and hundreds of people were under his care. Consider this short passage:
When Abram heard that his relative [Lot] was taken captive, he mobilized his trained men, born in his house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued as far as Dan. He divided his forces against them at night, he and his servants, and attacked them, and pursued them to Hobah, which is north of Damascus. He brought back all the possessions, and also brought back his relative, Lot, and his possessions, as well as the women and the other people.
Genesis 14:14-16, New Heart English Bible
Abraham possessed his own trained military forces and was also a military leader! The Lord trusted Abraham with many things and many people. He was an excellent leader.
Read more in this short passage, which reveals Abraham’s honor, wisdom and reverence for God.
Now Abraham was old, well advanced in days,
and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.
Genesis 24:1, New Heart English Bible
Highlights
We’ll dig into some of these highlights in the next post. For now, let’s hop through the lists.
Abraham
1. While in Egypt, making Sarah lie, saying she was his sister (Genesis 12:10-20)
2. Building altars to the Lord (Genesis 12:6-8, 13:18 and 22:9)
3. Rescuing his nephew Lot, captured during war (Genesis 14:11-16)
4. Being blessed by the high priest, Melchizedek (Genesis 14:17-20)
5. Hearing from the Lord many times—by vision, dream, covenant, prophesy (Genesis 15)
6. Agreeing to Sarah’s scheme for children—having sex with her servant Hagar (Genesis 16)
7. Pleading with God not to destroy Sodom if there were 10 righteous men (Genesis 18:22-33)
8. Lying to King Abimelech, saying Sarah was his sister (Genesis 20)
9. Trusting the Lord, who ordered Abraham to sacrifice Isaac (Genesis 22:1-19)
10. Ensuring that Isaac married a wife from their own people (Genesis 24)
And he planted a tamarisk tree in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the LORD, El Olam [—Everlasting God]. Abraham lived as a foreigner in the land of the Philistines many days.
Genesis 21:33-34, New Heart English Bible
Sarah
1. Telling Abraham to procreate with her maidservant, Hagar (Genesis 16)
2. Giving birth to Isaac at age 90, when Abraham was 100 (Genesis 17:17)
3. Ordering the banishing of Hagar and her son Ishmael (Genesis 21:8-14)
Other important events are documented below.
In part 12 of Joseph’s epic story, I shared my own Highlights list and encouraged my Peaceful Readers to write their own. I got some great feedback. If you’ve never done this, read the post and take some time considering the big events and relationships in your life. I think you’ll find it to be a revealing—and potentially healing—exercise.
Angelic encounter
Let’s dig into one very special day. In addition to the Lord Almighty being present, three angels visited Abraham—one of many important encounters in his life. (See Genesis 18:1-2 and 22-23.) In the passage below, we learn about Abraham and Sarah’s generous hospitality. This encounter also confirmed the approaching time for God to fulfil his promise to Abraham for a son through Sarah, who was 90 years old at this time.
Abraham ran and greeted the angels, described as “three men,” and asked them to stay and be refreshed.
Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah, and said, “Quickly, get three measures of fine flour, knead it, and make bread.” Abraham ran to the herd, and took a tender and good calf, and gave it to the servant, and he hurried to prepare it. He took curds, milk, and the calf that he had prepared, and set it before them. He stood by them under the tree, and they ate.
They said to him, “Where is Sarah, your wife?” He said, “See, in the tent.” Then he said, “I will certainly return to you at the time of life. Look, Sarah your wife will have a son.” Sarah heard from the entrance of the tent, which was behind him. Now Abraham and Sarah were old, well advanced in age. Sarah was past the age of childbearing. Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have grown old will I have pleasure, my husband being old also?” God said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Will I really bear a child when I am old?’ Is anything too difficult for God? At the set time I will return to you, at the time of life, and Sarah will have a son.” But Sarah denied it, saying, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. He said, “No, but you did laugh.”
Genesis 18:6-15, New Heart English Bible (emphasis added)
The hall of faith—Abraham and Sarah
How were Abraham and Sarah commended by the writer of Hebrews?
Part 1: Abraham—the father
By faith, Abraham, when he was called, obeyed to go out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance. He went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith, he sojourned in a land of promise, as a foreigner, living in tents with [his son] Isaac and [his grandson] Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise. For he looked for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
Hebrews 11:8-10, New Heart English Bible
Abraham looked forward to heaven.
Drink in this beautiful conversation between Abraham and God in a vision.
Part 2: Sarah—the mother
By faith, even barren Sarah herself received power to conceive when she was past age, and gave birth, since she considered him faithful who had promised. Therefore as many as the stars of the sky in multitude, and as innumerable as the sand which is by the sea shore, were fathered by one man, and him as good as dead.
Hebrews 11:11-12, New Heart English Bible
In Bible times, barren women were ridiculed—considered “less than” and forsaken by God. It made life very hard. Can you imagine being made fun of for 90 years, Peaceful Readers? The looks. The remarks. The ostracizing.
Even though fertility, conception and childbirth seemed absolutely impossible, Sarah believed God and “considered him faithful.” Praise the Lord!
In Part 2 of The Hall of Faith above, calling Abraham “as good as dead” makes me laugh. Did you know that Abraham lived 75 years after Isaac was born? Yes, indeed. Abraham died at age 175.
Part 3: Five honorees
The next paragraph refers to all the honorees so far: Abel, Enoch and Noah from part 1, plus Abraham and Sarah.
These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them and embraced them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were foreigners and temporary residents on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. If indeed they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had enough time to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed of them, to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
Hebrews 11:13-16, New Heart English Bible
Read about John Burke’s wonderful book Imagine Heaven on this resources page. Highly recommended.
Part 4: Abraham—the father
And now, the last paragraph about Abraham in The Hall of Faith.
By faith, Abraham, being tested, offered up Isaac; and he who had gladly received the promises was offering up his one and only son; even he to whom it was said, “In Isaac will your descendants be called;” concluding that God is able to raise up even from the dead. Figuratively speaking, he also did receive him back from the dead.
Hebrews 11:17-19, New Heart English Bible
Right before Abraham sacrificed his beloved son Isaac—obeying God’s command—the angel of the Lord stopped him and provided a ram caught in a thicket. Abraham passed the test. His faith was deep, sincere—complete.
The man of faith—father Abraham
Abraham is referenced again and again in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Let’s look at two passages from the New Testament. From Paul’s letter to the Galatians:
Even as Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” Know therefore that those who are of faith, the same are sons of Abraham. The Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the non-Jews by faith, preached the Good News beforehand to Abraham, saying, “Through you all the nations will be blessed.” So then, those who are of faith are blessed with the faithful Abraham.
Galatians 3:6-9, New Heart English Bible
In the passage above, the English Standard Version ends: “Abraham, the man of faith.” Abraham gives us a wonderful example of faith in God. We’re honored to be called sons and daughters of Abraham.
Last time, in part 1, we covered an essential truth found in James 2: “Faith without works is dead.” Abraham is commended in the same chapter.
Wasn’t Abraham our father justified by works, in that he offered up Isaac his son on the altar? You see that faith worked with his works, and by works faith was perfected; and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “And Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness;” and he was called the friend of God. You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.
James 2:21-24, New Heart English Bible
Abraham demonstrated his faith in the most profound way—being willing to sacrifice his dear son Isaac. James tells us that Abraham’s “faith was perfected” in this act of ultimate sacrifice and obedience.
Since Abraham and Sarah are the only married couple featured in The Hall of Faith, let’s conclude today’s post with some basic thoughts on marriage, which was created by God as a picture of Jesus Christ and the church—his beloved bride.
Whether you’re married or not, this last section has something for you—or someone you know.
Marriage 101
Marriage is challenging. Mr. and Mrs. don’t view or respond to things the same way. Sometimes, each other’s reactions don’t make sense. We bring our hidden, unidentified patterns of thinking and living with us—and we believe our thoughts and actions are peachy-keen fine, even when they aren’t. There’s conflict—spoken or unspoken. Life throws us difficult and sometimes traumatic situations.
All these realities are actually an opportunity to come closer to God in faith and trust—and closer to each other as husband and wife.
Core questions for husband and wife:
♦ Do we pray and ask God for help?
♦ Do we view ourselves as a united team—for each other? Each other’s biggest fan?
♦ Do we come to each other when things are hard?
♦ Do we talk about things?
♦ Do we discuss our thoughts and feelings without being defensive?
♦ Do we seek to understand and help each other?
♦ Do we problem-solve together—as a team?
The mirror, truth and love
Marriage can provide an extremely helpful mirror. “This person who loves me is calling something to my attention. Did I really do that? Do I need to think about that? Do I need to change the way I’m thinking or responding to something?” (Please note: Projection is the opposite—accusing someone else of what the guilty party is doing. Not okay.)
Yes, indeed. Marriage is hard because life is hard—any way you slice it. Here’s the bright side. When we speak the truth in love—right words, right tone, right person, right time, right place—we can experience understanding, unity and healing.
We must speak the truth in love faithfully.
Speaking the truth in love takes wisdom, and sometimes—courage. With God’s help and two people willing to grow, anything is possible. If you’re married, pray for your marriage. Whether you’re single, married, separated, widowed or divorced, remember to pray for other people’s marriages.
Every marriage needs prayer.
Unequally yoked
When one spouse loves Jesus and the other doesn’t, there’s a lack of unity spiritually-speaking. You really don’t see certain things the same way. I understand this difficulty personally. If you’re a Christian married to an unbeliever, pray for your spouse’s salvation every day; obey the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice; and be patient. More than 20 years into our marriage, the Lord saved my Brandon. Glory, hallelujah!
One year, Brandon asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I asked him to go to the Alpha class with me. And the rest is history—in the sweetest way.
Coming next
The saga of Abraham and his wife Sarah includes some strange and disturbing things—especially based on our life experiences today. What do these things mean? Why did they do what they did? Come back next time to explore some fascinating events.
Thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Closing word and song
“Be Still My Soul” by Mount Royal Kantorei
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