Back in time
In the first post of this Forgiving series, I wrote about a number of things that we’d be covering, including some that I didn’t understand at the time—like the relationship between forgiving and The Five Love Languages. If you read Questions and Answers, part 1, you learned about that connection. You also heard the story about a little girl named Riley and a very sad Christmas when she was in second grade.
Today on Choosing Peace, you’ll read about my favorite small town, another Riley and a candle.
The right name
Well, Peaceful Readers, it’s time to unpack something else mentioned in the first Forgiving post—the power of a name.
Sometimes we remember a certain incident or event and yet we never called it what it actually was. We just stuffed it back in our minds, knowing we weren’t happy about it, but we never gave it the proper name. We never truly acknowledged the impact.
When we see and name our losses and traumas rightly—and do the work of grieving that we need to do—we can tie up the loose ends by forgiving. But first, the name must be truthful. It has to be clear. There’s power in a name. Power to heal. Power to forgive.
Where does this power come from? It comes from the one who made us.
Have there been times in my life when I knew something bad happened, but I didn’t name the experience rightly? Have there been times when I dismissed or minimized the pain—the impact—of what happened? Uhhhh, yes. You’ll read about one of those times today.
Let’s step back in time….
Glen Rose, Texas
My favorite small town
On Friday morning, I noticed colorful light shining on an old photograph of Brandon and Logan walking in Big Rocks Park in Glen Rose, Texas many years ago. What a precious memory.
A few minutes later, Brandon and I left for a day trip to Glen Rose—my favorite small town. Brandon drove his 1968 Mustang and we listened to 50s music on the way, like “Rockin‘ Robin.” After finding a nice, shady parking spot on the square, we ate lunch at Shoo-Fly Soda Shop. My friend Sam and I discovered this gem back in April.
The soda shop
Brandon and I each sat on a stool at the counter. It took me a while to decide what flavor of ice cream soda I wanted. There were so many choices. I settled on raspberry—with whipped cream and a cherry on top. Delicious. I ate a Peggy Sue sandwich. (That means tuna.) Yum. You might choose a Rockin‘ Robin, a Buddy Holly, The Beav, Elvis, The Fonz, Aunt Bee or Lucille Ball. Fun stuff.
Sitting in the Shoo-Fly Soda Shop took me back to childhood summers in Mississippi when we visited my grandparents. We’d walk a few blocks to the drug store in town to get ice cream. Happy days. Believe it or not, that small, family-owned drug store is still open today in a small Mississippi town. Praise the Lord.
Oops. I started wandering. Back to Glen Rose, Texas.
The museum
After lunch, Brandon and I walked to the town museum—also located on the square near the stately 1893 court house. A sweet elderly lady who grew up here gave us a tour of the museum. I loved it. I asked her if I could take photos and she enthusiastically said, “Yes. Of course!” So many artifacts caught my eye. Two of them literally jumped out at me because they tied in with one of last month’s posts—the one with the little girl named Riley.
Upstairs in the 1800s bedroom, a Bible was opened to Psalm 27—the Psalm that became my favorite when Brandon and I were separated. I wrote about what led up to our separation in Questions and Answers, part 1. (Go here to read about Psalm 27 and the miracles God did during my 12 days at Camp Charlene.)
After I walked back downstairs in the museum, our tour guide pointed out a unique high school senior’s letter jacket from 1939. The young lady had all her friends sign her jacket; and later, her mother embroidered all the signatures so they wouldn’t fade over time. You won’t believe what name I saw on that letter jacket….
Riley.
A hundred years and many lives
Think about the intertwining of these events and lives. About 100 years ago, two local parents named their child Riley. In 1939, a teenager graduated from Glen Rose High School and asked her friends to sign her letter jacket. Her mom did something very special and labor-intensive to preserve the names on the jacket. Later, the jacket was donated to the town museum. About 18 years ago, I had the encounter with Riley’s mom at bunco one night. I wrote about it last month and I had to choose a name for the little girl in the story. Silently, in my thoughts, the Holy Spirit gave me the name Riley. At the time, I had no idea that I’d be back in my favorite small town later that month. On Thursday last week, I asked Brandon if he could take Friday off for a day trip to Glen Rose and he said yes. And—as they say—the rest is history.
A kiss on the head
I don’t know about you, but I find that amazing. My favorite Psalm and the name Riley, staring me in the face the same month when I wrote about them both. Plus, I was rather unexpectedly in my favorite small town, no less. That, Peaceful Readers, is the work and power of the Holy Spirit—and a major Kiss On The Head from Jesus.
After our stop in the museum, I popped into my favorite store, Front Porch Designs—also on the square. I’m writing today with my new coconut-lime candle glowing and flickering beside me. For me, a candle by my side says Peace, Frankie Ann. Peace to you.
God is so good.
Let’s continue exploring the importance of names.
A day of healing
The year 2020 was a big year. In January, God saved my life very dramatically. In February, he helped me lay down something painful from my past—in one day. And in March, the quarantine came. (Read about God’s comfort during 2020 in The Holy Spirit, part 5 or check out my quarantine poem.)
Let’s zero in on A Day of Healing.
Friday, February 21
Journal entry
Before I got out of bed this morning, the Holy Spirit reminded me several times about an incident that occurred maybe 25 years ago during my first marriage. He wanted me to name it rightly—truthfully—so I could add it to the trauma list I’m emailing Betty today for our Women’s Care Team at church. He helped me choose the right words—[a physical] injury.
I emailed Betty my trauma list today and separated it into three time periods: Childhood/young adult, first marriage and second marriage. It was very therapeutic to write it all and share it all with someone at church. What’s been hidden is now exposed to the light. Thanks be to God. Betty emailed me back and thanked me and wrote, “God has brought you through some very hard places and I am so glad He made you a part of this team! So grateful to be serving alongside you!”
[That evening…] we all watched the movie The Legend of Tarzan. It was great. I cried at parts when Tarzan’s ape mama protected him, thinking how my mom didn’t protect me. Then I thanked God for being my protector.
Before going to bed, I thought about what my ex-husband did to me during that incident and how it traumatized me. I cried. I forgave him. And I laid it down.
With my head on my pillow, I knew I needed to text this chain of events… to Sharla tomorrow—to encourage her about God’s perfect timing.
Quick, decisive steps
The Holy Spirit began that day speaking to me about a particular incident and how I needed to call it what it actually was. I had no idea what movie our family would wind up watching that night, but that would serve me well too. And the grieving—the crying—was brief.
Naming. Grieving. Forgiving. Laying it down.
Done in one day.
When and why
The timing was right because I had joined a women’s care ministry at church; and a woman—I’ll call her Sharla—who attended a recent Someone Cares retreat needed this very truth: God’s timing is perfect.
My healing about an incident 25 years ago took just one day. But first, I had to look at it rightly and call it by name. I had to acknowledge its impact on me. And the healing wasn’t just for me. It was for Sharla too.
And maybe it’s for you. To learn how to lay down a loss or trauma, start reading here.
Gifts from the Lord
What encouragement did the Lord give me one month before that revealing day?
Sunday, January 19
Journal entry
Thank the Lord for my wonderful friends, Charlene, Meagan and Summer. Meagan gave me a sweet hug as I sat by her in church today and said, “I love you.” I needed that!
Does someone need a hug and a sweet “I love you” from you? Life can be hard. Sincere expressions of love can sure make a difference.
Back to the museum
Before we wrap up this post, I need to share one more snippet from our visit to Glen Rose last week. Toward the end of our time at the museum, our tour guide mentioned an old photo with people all dressed up in their Sunday best while sitting on the massive rocks at what’s now known as Big Rocks Park. Someone asked her one time who moved all those gargantuan rocks in there. She replied: “God put them there.”
If you’d like to step back in time to a sweet town where people aren’t afraid to say the name of Jesus or speak obvious truths about God—Glen Rose, Texas is the place for you. I highly recommend a visit to Frankie Ann’s Favorite Small Town. You’ll be glad you went.
Coming next: I think I’ll start digging into the four barriers or roadblocks to forgiving—pride, fear, anger and denial. Get ready to read about a nurse, fire and a water fountain.
Thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Ephesians 1:3-10
Song: My dear friend Meagan told me about this song. Thank you, Meagan!
“I’m So Blessed” by CAIN, featuring Aaron Cole
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