Alpha and omega 4.2
In this unusual group of posts, I’m digging into last year—A Year in the Life. Here’s a quick summary of where we’ve been so far.
Part 1: Marvin & Me
God’s good plan and perfect timing
Part 2: The First Week
Blessings, foretelling, spiritual warfare
Part 3: The Third Day
The devil’s attack on marriage, books, the NAR
Part 4: Movie Month
The NFL, District 9, organized crime
Part 5: Impact Month
Red-pilling, the truth about NASA, a nightmare
Part 6: Freedom vs. Slavery Month and Door Month
Patrick Henry’s speech, We The People, a dangerous relative
Part 7: Foretelling Month (poem, stanza 1-3)
Threats and a sneak attack
Part 8: Foretelling Month (poem, stanza 4)
The Holiday Factor and a sociopathic summons
The themes
Last year’s themes were water, spiritual warfare and renewal. The posts listed above are heavy on spiritual warfare, except for part 1. What about the theme of water? Baptisms were featured in parts 5, 7 and 8. And our sailboat was featured in parts 2, 5 and 8. The story of Marvin & Me (part 1) shines in The Renewal Category. Hmmm. What a year.
Featured resources
These resources are stand-outs.
♦ St. Patrick’s Breastplate Prayer from part 3
♦ “The Night Song” from part 5
♦ The addendum—Thinking Rightly About Evil from part 7
If you have seriously-compromised sleep, consider this. Listen to “The Night Song” faithfully, read Psalm 91 and journal in detail about your dreams and nightmares. Part 5 of this post includes a thank-you prayer for my recent snake nightmare. Why did I thank God for a terrifying nightmare? Because it was a vital warning I absolutely needed to heed. Immediately.
Today on Choosing Peace, you’ll meet Jeff and you’ll see God’s spotlight. Will there be spiritual warfare again? Most definitely. Let’s wrap up our deep dive into the poem I wrote last August—in Foretelling Month.
Silver, stanza 5
God shined the light on the long-hidden things—about them, about you, about me
For 25 years, he’s been holding our hands and teaching our eyes to see
He gave us each other, he gave us our son, and he gave us dear friends to love too
The love and the trust that he grew in our hearts gave much healing to me and to you
Hidden things
God shined the light on the long-hidden things—about them, about you, about me
In December, shortly before Pam, The Almighty died, I received a call from the financial advisor for Logan’s trust fund—our first contact. Let’s call him Jeff. His identity, employer and the details about Logan’s trust fund were kept hidden from us by my siblings, Pam and Linda. They were both on a friendly, first-name basis with Jeff, who came to Pam’s house to visit her the month she died. The three of them spent time together. How often? How many times? Who knows. Jeff and Pam went to church together and were friends.
In January, after I called Jeff to clarify something, I wrote two therapeutic letters, titled Anger Letter to The Spider and Anger Letter to The Other One. That felt good. Anger letters are key tools for healing. My very first anger letter was a humdinger written to Brandon’s violent sister Shelly. For more about the healing value of therapeutic letters, read Peaceful Closure.
The spotlight
Linda’s participation in the scheming—and her identity as a narcissist—finally came into clear view last month, thanks to (1) my phone call to Jeff, (2) my review of texts and journal entries, (3) Linda’s disturbing behavior this year—5 out of the 8 warning signs for violence, (4) my nightmare where she was portrayed as a massive snake, and (5) a question from the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. This year, the Lord pulled out a spotlight repeatedly and said, “Frankie Ann, look right here! What do you see? What does it mean?” Thank you, God, for showing me the truth—again and again—in so many different ways.
Remember from the poem I wrote last year: “God shined the light on the long-hidden things….” He sure did. He pulled out a spotlight.
Finding the puzzle pieces
I journaled about every item listed in The Spotlight above: The phone call in #1; the texts in #2; the warning signs in #3—although I didn’t recognize most of them when they occurred; the warning dream in #4; and the Lord’s question in #5.
Reading my journal entries gave me all the puzzle pieces I needed
to finally put the puzzle about Linda together.
Let’s dig into an important statement above. “I didn’t recognize most of [the warning signs for violence] when they occurred.” Why in the world not? Because they are insidious. They fly under the radar. They feel strange, but not overtly dangerous. That’s the tricky part. Let’s unpack it.
Seeing the puzzle pieces for what they are
For 25 years, he’s been holding our hands and teaching our eyes to see
When Linda mentioned our childhood in a text and used the word “we,” I didn’t immediately think, She’s using one of the warning signs for violence. She’s speaking in “we” terms. But she was. When she mailed me a copy of some personal letters written to our mom, I didn’t immediately think, Linda’s loan sharking me. But she was. When she wished me a Happy New Year and invited me to lunch, I didn’t immediately think, She’s using charm and niceness against me. But she was. When Linda basically called me “stupid,” I didn’t think, She’s using typecasting. But she was. I just thought she was being her usual conceited, condescending self.
When she complained about me not saying yes to her lunch invitation, I saw the truth: She’s discounting the word no. Why did I see that warning sign clearly? Only one out of 5? Because the Lord gave me a shocking nightmare that morning. I was wide awake and on the lookout.
Then I started digging….
The danger of “gifts” from enemies
Let’s explore the loan sharking. When Linda mailed me copies of our maternal grandmother’s letters to our mom—announcing the upcoming mailing with strange, mysterious fanfare—I knew she was trying to get in my good graces. I knew she was being manipulative. But I didn’t immediately acknowledge the loan sharking—a supposed “gift” with chains attached: “Now you owe me.”
Not okay
In one of the letters Linda sent, our grandmother went on and on about how cute Little Pam was. Peaceful Readers, was it thoughtful for Linda to send me that particular letter? Knowing that Pam, The Punisher and I were enemies? No, it was not. It was a jab. It was premeditated. It was evil. Linda obviously had an agenda—Kickin’ Frankie Ann in the Face.
As I think about it now, that mailing reminds me of the time when my mother-in-law mailed me an 8×10 professional photo of Brandon with his first wife. Eternal thanks to Her Majesty, the Sadistic Control Freak for that delightful gift—I mean for the slap in the face. For more about that little sneak attack, plus others, read this post.
Knee-jerk reaction
Welcome to Loan Sharking Way.
Beware of any “gift” or “favor” from someone who isn’t for you. Be oh-so-careful.
Your automatic, knee-jerk reaction will be to say, “Thanks!” That’s what I did after receiving the letters Linda sent. I was wrong—oh-so-wrong. I forgot to think—first and foremost—about who was doing the alleged giving. Who was she? Was she for me? What did she want? My brain was off and my politeness was on. Not good.
Behavior that demands a response
What did Linda want? She was asserting her new authority and position as Narcissist #1. “Snap to, underling. Tell me how great and thoughtful I am. And make sure you remember my kindness the next time I contact you because you are mine now.” The toying was ramping up.
Peaceful Readers, when there are strings or chains attached, you didn’t receive a gift or a favor. You received confirmation of something else—something that demands your acknowledgement and some kind of response, whether it’s intentionally ignoring the bad behavior, calling it out, establishing new boundaries, backing away, closing the door, etc.
What did I do with the letters from my cold grandmother that Linda opted to send me? I tore them up and threw them in the trash. My response pointed to the loan sharking; but again, I didn’t see it at the time. Two months later, the Lord opened my eyes. For more about the nightmare, see part 5. To read about what the still, small voice had to say, plus how and why I closed the door, see part 6.
Your turn
Is there something disturbing or of concern going on in your life? Your journal can help you find the truth. Is God shining a spotlight on something or someone—or a group of people—maybe a wolf pack? Read back in your journal and make notes. What do you see? What does it mean? If you haven’t been journaling, it’s time to start. For now, write down the facts you remember. What do these puzzle pieces tell you? Review the warning signs for violence. Do you need to rethink someone’s charm and niceness? Their chatter with too many details? An unexpected “gift” or “favor”? Have you had any strange dreams or nightmares lately? Is there a snake slithering nearby?
For a deep dive into the warning signs for violence, read part 2 thru 6 of The Sneak Attack.
Pray and ask God to show you the truth. After you put the puzzle together, ask him to show you what to do next. When he does, will you obey? Will you trust him?
[For] he has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5b, New Heart English Bible
It’s time to shift from the disturbing, hidden things to some happy things. Yee-haw.
The gift of loving relationships
He gave us each other, he gave us our son, and he gave us dear friends to love too
The section at the end of the last post called The Alpha and Omega Weekends is filled with the Lord’s blessings in our relationships. I wrote about Meagan, Brandon, Charlene and Winston, Marvin, Logan, Summer, Isaiah and our neighbor Dave. That section ends with this important truth.
You are our God. Ever good. Ever faithful. Ever protective.
Foretelling—the fifth stanza
What did the fifth stanza of Silver foretell about this year? The truth about Linda. The truth about her scheming, her narcissism, her evil. The truth about how difficult it can be to see the 8 warning signs for violence. The truth about God’s goodness to shine the spotlight on disturbing truths for our good.
He reveals the truth at the right time, in the right way.
Stanza 5 from Silver also foretold The Alpha and Omega Weekends of March—amazing times with family and friends. Blessings galore.
Silver, stanza 6
As we celebrate this day—the one they call Silver—I’m wondering what lies ahead
For 25 years, I’ve read the good book and I’ve prayed to my Lord in my head
He tells me—Be at peace; cast away every fear; remember the words from of old
Today brings new things and so will tomorrow as you journey each step to the gold
Learning and growing
Brandon and I are still learning and growing—as individuals and in our marriage. This quote from The Post-Turnaround Transformation, part 1 gives a great example.
Daily quiet time has been transformative for our relationship. We start the day together, quietly, in harmony—feeding our souls. God did a lot of work in both of us to prepare us for this new season. Brandon became more peaceful and tenderhearted, and I became stronger and more courageous.
Clinging to the word
He tells me—Be at peace; cast away every fear; remember the words from of old
Be at peace: John 14:26-27
Cast away every fear: 1 Peter 5:7
Remember the words from of old: Jeremiah 6:16
Remembering the truth
The word remember speaks powerfully from this last stanza of Silver. I remember “the words from of old” from God’s word. I also remember why God brought Brandon and me together. From this post:
Peace and clarity
As Brandon and I talked, the Holy Spirit revealed important truths.
Monday, December 11
Journal entry
Today was good. Brandon cooked us fried eggs for breakfast and salmon burgers for lunch. What a sweetie. …Yesterday, Brandon asked me for words of affirmation. I gave him some while we were in the car. At home I spoke for a long time about how the severity of the abuse and dysfunction in his family was essential to wake me up about my own family of origin—the people in the house. Because of him and his family, I started writing Choosing Peace. Through my writing and while I write, I experience revelations and healing. I write questions and the Lord answers them. Brandon totally understood. He verbalized that he had to be the one for me and I agreed. This conversation brought him peace. It gave me clarity too, and reminded me of something I journaled years ago: It is good to be loved by him.
The overt and subtle attacks on our family this year brought a great deal of stress, but remembering the truth in God’s word and the truths he’s taught us strengthened us. Big-time.
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them [—evil spirits/people];
because greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.
1 John 4:4, New Heart English Bible
Foretelling—the sixth stanza
What did the sixth stanza of Silver foretell about this year? The constant role of God and his word to bring peace and strength in any and all circumstances. We’ve walked down many roads in 25 years. Some were particularly painful and hard. But God is always with us.
The song below captures the peace and strength of knowing Jesus, our Savior. I think it will bless you richly. If you don’t know Jesus yet, read the five-part Thanksgiving post.
Charlene, my Soul Sister, sent me a card last week. She ended her note with Jeremiah 15:16—the perfect verse for this post. Drink it in, below, in Truth from The Word. Then experience how that verse ties in with the song I chose beforehand. God is so good.
And his word is ever true.
Coming next: Well, I’ve spent 3 parts of this post digging into the poem I wrote on the first day of August. What else happened on the Alpha and Omega Days of August—in Foretelling Month? Plenty. Come back next time to read about fondue, gifts and the solution to a problem.
Thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Jeremiah 15:16
Song: “My Portion” by Shane & Shane
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