Alpha and omega 4.0
Have you ever walked into a room and wondered why you went in there? I wonder how many times I’ve done that this year. I try to look on the bright side and consider it some unexpected exercise. Speaking of unexpected, you’ll be learning some unexpected things today about a guy named Walter. Yikes.
Last time, we explored the Alpha and Omega Days of July, which was Freedom vs. Slavery Month and Door Month. It was a powerhouse, with Patrick Henry’s historic speech; 15 examples of collusion, censorship and conspiracy against We The People; and the uncovering of another narcissist in my family of origin. I don’t usually call them “family.” I call them what they really were—the people in the house.
Today we’ll start digging into the first day of August. Get ready to read about our first date, Her Majesty’s Secret Service, and a conversation with the devil.
August 1—the alpha day
Tuesday, August 1
Journal entry
OUR 25th ANNIVERSARY!
Today was lovely. This morning and after work, I wrote a poem to Brandon called Silver. I love how it turned out. Thank you, Lord. I printed it out and signed it so I could give it to him at our dinner. He liked it, and he asked me to put it in our box with special letters, so I did. (I posted it on my blog too.)
As I was preparing to write this post, I wondered, What in the world am I going to explore? And then I read Silver, realizing that it foretold some revealing and bizarre events this year.
August was Foretelling Month.
Let’s start walking through the poem stanza by stanza to see how Silver ties in with current Smythe Family Events. Some of the current events took me on a walk down Memory Lane.
Silver, stanza 1
On August 1st I took your name when I became your wife
For 25 years, I’ve held your hand as we’ve traveled thru this life
The roses were red on our wedding day in a beautiful, peaceful place
We had no idea the roads we would walk as we smiled at each other’s face
Holding hands and the two sides
For 25 years, I’ve held your hand as we’ve traveled thru this life
At church last Sunday while I was holding Brandon’s hand in our life group, I remembered something from our first date. When I held Brandon’s hand for the very first time, my heart didn’t jump. It didn’t feel strange. It felt like my hand had always been there.
On our first date, we went to a play. Brandon’s violent sister Shelly sat on one side of him and I sat on the other. I had no idea what she was, what she had done, and what she would do. We sat by Brandon—one on each side. There were two sides. Violence and peace. Trauma and healing. The past and the future. And 17 years later, after Shelly died, we left The War Zone. Thanks be to God.
The place and the music
The roses were red on our wedding day in a beautiful, peaceful place
Earlier this month, I was blessed to serve at another Someone Cares retreat. Two of the retreat participants—long-term best friends—were getting baptized the next Sunday at the church in Dallas where Brandon and I got married. As they talked with joy about their upcoming baptisms, the church where Brandon and I got married came back into my mind. In some ways, our wedding seems so far away and so long ago, and in other ways, it feels like yesterday.
The song about peace
We had no idea the roads we would walk as we smiled at each other’s face
When Brandon and I met, dated and got married, I sang in the choir and worked in the music office at that church. During our wedding in the chapel, an ensemble sang “A Gaelic Blessing” from the balcony—a song about deep peace. I had no idea about the turmoil and the attacks that were coming. I had no idea about the hard truths the Lord would reveal. I had no idea that I’d write about our lives on a blog called Choosing Peace. And yet, our marriage began with a declaration: “Deep peace of Christ to you.” The peace of Jesus was being sung over us. I find that remarkable. Here are the lyrics to that ethereal song. And here’s a reminder from Jesus.
“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
John 14:27, New Heart English Bible
The piece with tension and harmony
While I was writing this section, I heard a lovely Vivaldi piece on the Baroque station on Pandora. This Allegro movement of Vivaldi’s famous double violin concerto is filled with tension, strength and beautiful harmony—with the two main players and a host of players behind them. That reminds me of our marriage—tension (at times), strength, harmony and many players.
The ethereal place
Sometimes I listen to that Vivaldi piece at St. Matt’s. When Brandon and I got married, I worked at a big church. Now I work at a small church. There were different jobs in between—proofreading at an advertising company; teaching music—including classical music listening skills—at Logan’s Tuesday/Thursday preschool at church; working with children at an elementary school where I met my pal Charlene; and more. At the beginning of our marriage, I worked in the Lord’s house; and now the Lord brought me full circle—back to his house—to a very peaceful, quiet, ethereal place. To a place where profound healing literally fell in my lap.
Healing
My first month working at St. Matt’s, I received an email about a post-abortion healing retreat to advertise to the church. I added the information to the church newsletter. And every time I saw or thought about that ad, the Holy Spirit said in my mind: “This is for you.” “This is for you.” “This is for you.” One day when I was the only one at home, I locked our bedroom door, stood in the dark room, and called to sign up for that retreat. I was afraid. The lady’s voice was kind. I cried on the phone as I said, “I can’t forgive myself.” And that, Peaceful Readers, was the beginning of a very profound season of The Healing Journey that brought me all the way to the destination: Complete healing from unresolved, ungrieved loss and trauma—one issue or relationship at a time. (See the Grieving series.)
All the way
Some people are confused about the destination of The Healing Journey and what it looks like. If Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever, and if he completely healed people as documented in the Bible, he can completely heal people today. Jesus didn’t give lame people a limp and a cane. He healed them all the way.
Can Jesus completely heal us from deep emotional and psychological wounds? Absolutely. My life testifies to that reality. For more about The Healing Journey, read What Forgiving Is and Isn’t, part 8.
Foretelling—the first stanza
What did the first stanza foretell?
1. Our hand-holding at church last Sunday that took me on a trip down Memory Lane.
2. Ladies I met at a retreat this month who got baptized—just one week later—at the church where Brandon and I got married.
Silver, stanza 2
Not long after that, we found our home—the place where we would live
For 25 years, God’s kept us safe as he gives and gives and gives
The month was November when we moved in; 2 dogs, 2 cats and a stove
We came with our hopes and with hidden things too—big things we needed to know
The gift of truth
Not long after that, we found our home—the place where we would live
For 25 years, God’s kept us safe as he gives and gives and gives
Stanza 2 is about our home, God’s protection and his generosity. God has given us so much—life, his word, each other, our son Logan, friends, our home, our church, our jobs, his generous provision and more. One of the most precious gifts he’s given us is the truth. He reveals what we need to know—at the right time, in the right way. He doesn’t reveal every detail since that would be overwhelming, but he does reveal the basics—what we need to know.
Poster children
We came with our hopes and with hidden things too—big things we needed to know
When we got married, we didn’t know that Brandon’s parents were sociopaths. We had no idea. We didn’t know that my parents were mentally ill either. No clue. We were the poster children for adapting. We adapted to our childhood environments and thought everything going on was normal. Explore this important post about the power of adapting and how we can come out of the darkness and into the light.
Foretelling—the second stanza
How is this stanza related to current family events? What did the second stanza foretell? Hidden things. Big things we needed to know. (And there’s a lot more of that to come.)
Earlier this month, I realized that my older sibling, Linda, is a narcissist. She displayed repeated warning signs for violence toward me this year. See part 5 and part 6 for more, including the nightmare with the Burmese python trying to kill me.
Silver, stanza 3
Long before we met, we each had a dream of having a family to love
For 25 years, the Lord has been here and his angels watch us from above
After 4 years, when our baby was born, he was tiny and precious and true
The things that he said, the things that he did, looked a whole lot like you (and me too)
Direct warning
The things that he said, the things that he did, looked a whole lot like you (and me too)
How is Logan like us? He looks like us and he talks like us. What about spiritual things? Does Logan receive warnings in dreams like Brandon and I do? He sure does.
Testing the waters
Last month, Logan had a dream right before Aunt Marilyn—my sociopathic mother-in-law’s sister—contacted him via Facebook. Now that Logan’s junior year at college is wrapping up, his long-lost great aunt is suddenly interested in how college is going. How sweet is that?
In reality, Aunt Marilyn lives next door to Delia and serves as one of her many accomplices. I journaled, “In the dream, we were in Sociopathville for a family reunion, and everyone was laughing at us. Logan rightly said that his dream was a warning dream. Indeed, it was.”
The request
Aunt Marilyn contacted Logan again a couple weeks ago via Facebook, asking for his address at college. She allegedly wanted to mail him something. How utterly fascinating. Brandon’s aunt, who has never mailed anything to Logan—or to us on his behalf—suddenly and unexplainedly needs to mail him something. To what do we owe this uncharacteristic honor to be bestowed oh-so-sincerely by the former debutante? What’s going down, Peaceful Readers? Delia wants Logan’s college address so she can start loan sharking him—mailing him stuff so he’ll feel obligated to make contact. Her Majesty, the Sadistic Control Freak wants to buy him off to enslave him. And she will use any and all pressure available to get his address. (His phone number has been heartily denied for years.)
Logan told Aunt Marilyn to use his home address. Her Majesty likely said: “Rats! Foiled again”—or something to that effect. Will the dynamic duo, Delia and Marilyn, stop there? Certainly not. I told Logan that ignoring all contacts has been an effective strategy for us. Lord, protect our son from evil.
Now that Logan has turned 21, three of Delia’s accomplices—and a bizarre, unknown stranger—have been contacting him via Facebook. More on that shortly.
Protected and shielded
For 25 years, the Lord has been here and his angels watch us from above
Step 1: Threats
During spring break last month, Delia’s new husband Walter was activated to Her Majesty’s Secret Service. He left threatening voice mails on my phone. The first one went like this: “Brandon, this is Walter. It is your mother’s husband, and I’m going to call you every hour on the hour tomorrow if you don’t return my call. You can not treat a mother this way and be a Christian. I want to hear from you one way or the other and I need to know—the sooner the better, okay? Bye-bye.” His voice was warbly and angry. I journaled, “What a total wack-a-doo. We don’t respond to threats, or to sociopaths or any of their accomplices.”
Walter, The Liar did not call “every hour on the hour tomorrow.” He opted for a different target, and his voice was sugary-sweet this time.
Friday, March 15
Journal entry
Unfortunately, I received another voice mail from Walter, Her Majesty’s husband, at 8:30 P.M.—even though I blocked his number. “Hey, Frankie Ann, I hate to bother you, but this is Walter Fields and I hate to tell you, it’s Delia’s husband. And I—we would love to talk to you—I would—because Logan is due a large sum of money. And I mean large, if the estate, which is going to so far go to he and the other 2 grandkids and would you contact me please. You don’t have to talk to Delia, but call me please.” Talk about convoluted, disjointed, manipulative…. The threats were much more subtle this time: “I hate to tell you” and “if the estate….” Loan sharking extraordinaire. I played [the voice mail] for Brandon.
Step 2: The sneak attack
After we got home from church that Sunday, our doorbell rang. I saw an old man in a suit through the side light. I opened the door and heard the voice I recognized, saying happily, “You must be Frankie Ann!” I immediately slammed the door in Walter’s face and marched down the hall to Brandon’s office.
Sunday, March 17
Journal entry
Brandon sat down [on the porch] and commenced to talk with the creep for about 2 hours. I spent a good deal of that time in the back yard. I was seriously worked-up emotionally…. Logan slept throughout Walter’s attack, thank the Lord.
Brandon confronted all of Walter’s bad behavior and attempted manipulation. When Walter complained that his ex-wife kept their children away from him for 10 years, Brandon said, “Based on your behavior toward us, she did the right thing—protecting her children from you.” Walter owned a used car dealership in [a sister town to Sociopathville]. That says it all—a professional liar and thief. Walter tried to get Brandon to feel sorry for his mother. Brandon responded by mentioning 45 years of abuse and her failure to ever attempt to make anything right….
Brandon told Walter never to contact me again or else. Brandon also said there’s nothing Walter can do to erase his abusive behavior and worst possible impression where I’m concerned. It was so bad and he is so history. Walter kept trying to touch Brandon and pray for him, and Brandon said absolutely not. Walter said he’s losing sleep over our estrangement and Brandon said Walter has traumatized himself, was being manipulative, and Brandon could care less….
Brandon confronted Walter for bringing up the inheritance when there’s nothing going on in that department, saying forcefully—“We’re not for sale.” Walter realized that he wouldn’t get anything that he came for, so he left. What [an evil,] abusive nightmare. Walter and Brandon’s mother deserve each other. Big-time. Brandon thinks it’s Walter’s intention to steal everything from his mother by getting her to revoke her will. My immediate reaction was, “Good! Well deserved.”
Logan told us that a woman named Penelope Jenkins-Stark messaged him on Facebook 3 times yesterday, asking him if he’s Delia and Walter’s grandson. Logan looked her up. She used to live with Walter. Logan suspects that she’s his daughter, based on her age. Logan was irritated and disgusted by the whole thing, and blocked her. Excellent decision. …When Brandon mentioned to Logan his suspicion that Walter was going to steal everything from Brandon’s mom, Logan responded the same as I did. [Basically,] “That would be great. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving person.”
Yep, Peaceful Readers. Welcome to Sociopathville.
Unpacking the attack
Why in the world did I title this section “Protected and Shielded”? How did the Lord and his angels protect us? When someone shows up for a sneak attack at your door, in your email, on your voice mail, humiliating you in front of an audience, or whispering in your ear—which have all happened to us—it’s a shocking, disturbing thing. When we’re shocked, we usually can’t think straight or respond rightly. (Explore that issue in this post.) Brandon was in top form. He wasn’t thrown off-guard by Walter’s Sunday sneak attack. At all. In fact, confronting Walter and deflecting every attack vector was a very therapeutic thing for Brandon. It really was.
Brandon learned a great deal about Walter, which will prove helpful in the future. Knowing the truth about your enemy—and responding rightly to that truth—strengthens you as a warrior. And we’re in the throes of long-term spiritual warfare.
How did God protect us? The Lord kept Brandon’s mind sharp. I was shielded in the back yard. And Logan was shielded by deep sleep. He had no idea what was happening on the porch. Thank you, Lord, for protecting us all and teaching us what we need to know.
Sneak attack aftermath
It takes time to recover from a sneak attack, emotionally-speaking. Processing what went down with each other and with close friends helps greatly.
Monday, March 18
Journal entry
Brandon said this morning that he had “a conversation with the devil.” I totally agreed. He mentioned the movie Nefarious, and how much he learned from it. I agreed….
Meagan checked on me this morning. She could tell yesterday at church that something was wrong. We had a good talk. She is very wise. Meagan said she’s never heard of such bad extended family behavior as ours. Yep. Super-evil.
Brandon was considering writing up his talk with Walter and emailing it to [Uncle] Henry and [Brandon’s sister] Hazel. He felt compassion on his mom and didn’t want her taken advantage of. I strongly advised him not to. The Powers That Be in the abusive family are obviously on to Walter, The Shyster [who complained about how much they dislike him]. Besides, they would immediately send Brandon’s email to Walter and Brandon’s mom. I told him that communicating with anyone in that clan would be like hitting a hornets’ nest with a baseball bat. He would get viciously attacked and seriously hurt. He understood.
Since the sneak attack, we’ve held on to our not-so-secret weapon—The Weapon of Silence—and we’ve lived out our mantra: You play, you lose. We know what we need to know, and the Holy Spirit watches over us. We are at peace. Thanks be to God.
Foretelling—the third stanza
What did the third stanza foretell? It foretold Walter’s attacks. It foretold Logan’s warning dream. It foretold Aunt Marilyn slithering into Logan’s life. Most of all, it foretold the Lord’s protection.
Family vs. relatives
How did stanza 3 foretell Walter’s attacks? Walter kept insisting to Brandon that he’s a part of our family, but he isn’t. Penelope, some relative or cohort of his, kept messaging Logan, asking if he’s “Delia and Walter’s grandson.” He isn’t. Saying something doesn’t make it true. Wanting or claiming someone—and trying to buy them off—doesn’t make them yours. Like Brandon said: “We are not for sale.” Yes, Walter married Brandon’s sociopathic mother, which makes him, technically-speaking, a relative—not a good connotation in our experience. Relative and family are totally different concepts for us. Family means close, chosen, connected in love. Dear friends like Charlene and Meagan are family to me. They are my sisters. What about our relatives? Absolutely not. Enemies are not my family. I am in the family of God. They are in Satan’s family.
Long before we met, we each had a dream of having a family to love
For 25 years, the Lord has been here and his angels watch us from above
After 4 years, when our baby was born, he was tiny and precious and true
The things that he said, the things that he did, looked a whole lot like you (and me too)
In the first line of this stanza, the words dream, family and love stand out to me. Brandon, Logan and I display our love for each other when we battle evil forces together. We communicate about what’s going on, what it means and what we need to do—or not do, as the case may be. We are family. The relatives who toy with us are enemies—agents of dark, evil forces. Brandon did not welcome Walter, The Liar into our home. He sat on the porch and pulverized him on every point—protecting our family. Well done, Brandon.
More below
Well, Peaceful Readers, we need to dive deeper into some important issues. If you or someone you know has ever been inclined to feel sorry for a dangerous person, please read the addendum at the end of this post. It includes a stern warning about pity and a great example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. (I call our carnivore in question Major Wolf—and his first name begins with W.) The addendum also covers what God’s word says about evil, plus an answer to this important question. How should we respond to evil parents in light of The Ten Commandments?
Today’s music video shows wolves circling. What a perfect song for this post.
Coming next: We’ll continue our journey through the poem Silver and what it foretold. I’m not sure how far we’ll get, but I know it’ll be interesting. What a year. Come back next time.
Thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Psalm 140:12
Song: “I Just Need U” by TobyMac
More: To stay current on recent posts, sign up for my monthly newsletter.
Addendum
Thinking rightly about evil
There are basically three responses to evil: (1) Denying it—pretending it didn’t happen, (2) minimizing or excusing it—pretending it isn’t what it obviously is, or (3) acknowledging the disturbing truth.
Avoiding pity
I’ve written a lot about denial here on Choosing Peace. Let’s focus on the second option above—minimizing or excusing evil. This sometimes occurs in the form of pity. Evil people frequently pretend they’re the victims and their targets are the abusers. It sounds like something no one would fall for, but it’s extremely effective, given the evil person’s extensive, dramatic lying and The Power of the Posse—strength in numbers. (Some evil people are lone wolfs, but most run in packs.)
Feeling sorry for an evil person—a professional attacker—is extremely unwise. When we feel sorry for someone, we let our guard down and we turn our brains off. Don’t do that. Sociopaths, malignant narcissists, and their cohorts are experts at complaining and trying to make people feel sorry for them. “So-and-so has been so cruel to me.” Yadda, yadda, yadda. We must ignore their complaining and focus on their destructive behavior.
Do not pity anyone who routinely hurts others.
Recommended reading
Do you need strength or clarity in this area? I highly recommend Lisa Wolcott’s article, “How to Spot—and Handle—a Sociopath.” To learn about the 8 warning signs for violence, dig into The Sneak Attack posts (intro in part 1; deep dive in parts 2 through 6). And remember: Most violence is emotional.
The saying and the twins
I’ve mentioned this expression in previous posts: “Hurt people hurt people.” We’ve all been on the receiving end of that truth—and the giving end, truth be told.
Beware of applying that concept to an evil person. “Hurt people hurt people” and The Danger of Pity are identical twins. They sound like this, in unison: “Because someone treated you wrong, you’re treating people wrong now. Therefore, I feel sorry for you or I’m making excuses for your dangerous behavior.”
Do not make excuses for anyone’s dangerous behavior.
For more on the topic of excuses—which are lies—explore this post and this post.
Then and now
Let’s apply my warning about The Danger of Pity to The Man of the Hour from the post above—Walter.
We could sit around waxing speculatively about how Walter probably had bad parents. I reckon he did. But that is not the point. We had bad parents too, but we don’t threaten people. We don’t drive an hour and a half away from home, showing up unexpectedly on the doorstep of targets we’ve never met, using every psychological weapon in The Abuse Arsenal to coerce them into a living nightmare. Nothing that Walter did was done with our good in mind. He didn’t contact us to be helpful or thoughtful, despite his concerted efforts to spin it that way. He did everything possible to ensnare us—to manipulate us—to control us—to replace our peace with their chaos and abuse. What he did was, in every possible way, not okay.
A dangerous ride at Dollywood
I mentioned the Dolly Parton billboard, “Find the good in everybody,” in the story of Esther. Sweet little Dolly’s larger-than-life advertisement gives us an important example of mainstream media’s attempt to train us to turn off our brains, eliminate discernment, and welcome abuse. Read these important sections from this post: “A Feel-Good Message from Satan,” “Displaying Our Colors” and “A Prayer for Discernment.”
Dolly and Walter are related. They look and sound oh-so-good, but the real picture is dark, to say the least. Insidious. Nefarious. Dangerous.
The wolf
Walter is 80-something years old, goes to church, has heard the truth of God’s word preached for decades, and remains a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He is a hunter and we are some of his current prey. During his sneak attack last month, Walter was wearing a suit, he had a lovely smile, and he repeatedly “offered” to pray with Brandon. Let’s call Her Majesty’s new secret service operative Major Wolf. His years in the used car business certainly honed his skills.
The packaging—I mean outward appearance—doesn’t show us the reality of what’s inside.
Walter’s behavior tells us everything we need to know: Threats, a sneak attack, lies, drama, attempted manipulation and more. One of his tactics was a stellar execution of pity-siphoning, also known as “It’s Feel-Sorry-for-The-Sociopath Time.” He said, basically: “Your mother is crying and it’s all your fault.” Right, buddy. I mean “Herr Wolf.” Delia’s tears were a show because sociopaths don’t have feelings other than sadistic thrills. Besides, Walter was probably lying about that part anyway. If you’re tempted to feel sorry for Delia, The Sociopath or Walter, The Wolf, please read the first series and Lisa Wolcott’s landmark article.
Drawing the line
What differentiates an evil person from other people who have their own share of screw-ups? It’s a heart issue—or lack thereof. You’ll notice habitually hurtful behavior without regard for the impact—without empathy. Drama? Yes. Seemingly-emotional expressions or outbursts? Yes. Actual empathy? No. There’s also the plotting, the lying, and the aggressive targeting of a specific person or group—or decent people in general. Read about Haman from the story of Esther and another malignant narcissist, Pam, The Almighty, in this revealing post.
From A Story of Grieving, part 5:
In my experience, the defining characteristic of evil people, like Pam, is their goal of ruining the lives of their enemies/victims and the lengths they will go to in order to achieve their goal. How do they do it? They use the drama-making, the lying, the collecting (of people), the gossiping, the stealing—and let’s not forget—the punishing.
Agreeing with God
If we desire to be wise, we must agree with God and his word—bringing our thinking and living in line with him. I’ve said this before and it bears repeating. God doesn’t take evil lightly, and neither should we.
Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
who put darkness for light, and light for darkness;
who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter.
Isaiah 5:20, New Heart English Bible
Lies are at the heart of evil. That’s why Jesus called Satan “the father of lies.”
Seeking discernment
The words people speak reveal the truth about their hearts. Jesus explains this in Matthew 12:34-37 and 15:18-19.
Pray for discernment—the ability to discern good from evil. Don’t be misled by someone’s outward appearance or their drama, tears or seemingly-sincere complaints. Watch and listen carefully. What patterns do you see? Does this person have a posse—a cluster of accomplices? Is there plotting going on? Who are they attacking? Is the target present to defend himself/herself? What do you know personally about the target, apart from the attacker’s claims? Is there a lot of gossiping going on? Unverified allegations? Beware.
Evil ways
What else does the Bible say about evil? Psalm 7:14 paints a vivid picture.
Evil looks and sounds like this:
1. Schemes: Micah 2:1
2. Seemingly-spontaneous verbal attacks, plotted in secret: Psalm 64:2-5
3. Treating people like food to be consumed: Psalm 14:4
4. Hateful liars: Psalm 109:1-5 and Proverbs 17:4
5. Arrogance, violence, murder: Psalm 94:4-7
6. Pretense: Psalm 28:3-5
7. Vicious posse—celebrating people’s pain: Psalm 35:11-16
8. False accusations: Psalm 38:20
9. Boasting, plotting, lying, devouring people: Psalm 52:1-4
10. Entrapment: Psalm 141:9
11. Deceit: Proverbs 12:20 and 2 Timothy 3:12-13
12. And, last but not least, flattery: Romans 16:17-19
Do you see plotting and lying—in various forms—repeatedly on that list? Do those descriptions of evil remind you of someone—or many “someones” you know?
The Lord’s view of evil and our rightful response
There are six things which the LORD hates; yes, seven which are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood; a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness who utters lies, and he who sows discord among brothers.
Proverbs 6:16-19, New Heart English Bible
Since the Lord hates evil, how should we respond to evil?
1. Hate evil: Psalm 97:10
2. Don’t envy evil people or desire to be with them: Proverbs 24:1-2
3. Pray for deliverance: Matthew 6:13
Finally, brothers, pray for us, that we may be delivered from unreasonable and evil people; for not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you, and guard you from the evil one.
2 Thessalonians 3:1a, 2-3, New Heart English Bible
The Lord’s vengeance
Drink in these two important scriptures about God’s wrath against evil: Malachi 4:1-3 and Romans 12:19.
Evil parents, siblings and relatives
We read Honor your father and your mother in The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12a, World English Bible). If your parent is evil, how does that commandment jive with all the scriptures above about evil?
Essential reading
For great clarity on this issue, read this outstanding article from The Gospel Coalition: “Honoring Your Father When He’s Evil.” After reading this article for the second time, I said out loud, “That is absolutely tremendous.” It is the finest article I’ve read on this subject. Obviously, it applies to evil mothers too. (Apply the core truths to evil siblings, evil relatives and evil non-relatives.)
What does God’s word say about light vs. darkness? His people vs. Satan’s people? Reflect on John 3:16-21 and 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. (If you’re married to a non-believer, read 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. See the Marriage section in the index.)
What Jesus said
Regarding the often-misunderstood subject of honoring evil parents, I’m drawn to these words of Jesus again and again:
“Do not think that I came to send peace on the earth. I did not come to send peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man at odds against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s foes will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow after me, is not worthy of me. Whoever seeks his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:34-39, New Heart English Bible
In the scripture above, Jesus speaks clearly. He didn’t come to bring harmony or peace or people-pleasing or ignoring problems between family members. He came to bring a sword. The battle is between the people of God and the people of Satan. Jesus does not advocate harmony or reconciliation with evil. He advocates warfare. In other words, “Know what side you’re on—what family you really belong to.”
We are the children of God. We’re in his kingdom. And we each carry a sword—the word of God. Put on your armor—The Armor of God.