Joseph—full circle
Last time on Choosing Peace, we learned about Joseph’s brother Judah, the fourth son born to Jacob (also called Israel). Today we’ll explore how Judah, Joseph and Yours Truly came full circle. What does that really mean? Walk with me as we explore God’s remarkable transforming work—then and now.
Get ready to read about clever names, a hail storm and laughing.
A new heart
Judah came full circle—from saying “Let’s sell [Joseph]” to offering himself as a slave to protect their brother Benjamin. When Judah was in his early 20s, he recommended selling their father’s favorite son, Joseph, into slavery. When Judah was in his early 40s, he was willing to become a slave for the rest of his life to protect his father’s new favorite son, Benjamin. In 22 years, Judah changed from a violent young man to a humble, protective man. How did God do that?
God alone can change a heart of stone—a hard heart—
to a heart of flesh—a tender heart focused on God and others.
Drink in Ezekiel 36:24-28, our closing scripture from last time.
The turning point
Judah—the crumbling and replacing
Judah’s daughter-in-law Tamar, now a widow, was pregnant from an act of prostitution. Judah said, “Burn her.” In other words, “She has disgraced herself and our family and needs to be violently and publicly executed.” Then it was made known that he was the daddy of those twin boys she was carrying. Judah admitted that he had broken an important promise to her, which impacted this chain of events. Judah spoke the truth—that Tamar was more righteous than he was. That was Judah’s turning point. “I was wrong.”
Judah’s sin smacked him upside the head. The impact of his sin smacked him upside the head. The lies, excuses and justifications started to crumble. The vice of pride—the granddaddy of The Seven Deadly Sins—began to be replaced by the virtue of humility.
Judah’s turning point came when he finally admitted he was wrong.
Frankie Ann—the crumbling and replacing
I can relate to those things. When I was in my mid-20s, I committed murder. Oh, it was legal and all, but it was murder nonetheless. When Judah was in his 20s, he participated in a transaction that was legal. He traded “the goods”—his brother—for “the cash”—I mean the silver. (The prostitution with Tamar was also a transaction.)
Clever names masking the evil
What I did—along with a third of the women in our country—was called “child sacrifice” in the Old Testament. It had a clever name back then. It was supposedly done to placate “the gods” or to enhance religious rituals. But it was much more than a sacrifice. It was murder. And it was legal. Now it has an even more clever name—abortion. It’s done to placate “the god of freedom” and “the god of convenience” and “the god of secrets,” among others. Judah made a transaction or two. I made an appointment. Read the allegory called The Machine for more.
Two turning points
The two major turning points in my life were (1) when God saved me toward the end of my first marriage, and (2) when God healed me from the trauma of abortion 19 years later. I was wrong. Oh-so-wrong. I thought I didn’t need God. I was abysmally wrong. Since my abortion was legal, I thought it was no big deal. I was, yet again, abysmally wrong.
My sin smacked me upside the head. The impact of my sin smacked me upside the head. The lies, excuses and justifications started to crumble. The vice of pride—the granddaddy of The Seven Deadly Sins—began to be replaced by the virtue of humility.
My turning points came when I finally admitted I was wrong.
And I finally admitted that I needed help.
Coming full circle
When I use the expression coming full circle, I’m speaking in the spiritual sense. In other words, did someone’s greatest tragedy or failing eventually lead that person to a place of victory over that very issue? Over other issues?
Judah’s circle
Selling and buying
Judah’s two primary sins were related: slavery and prostitution. Both used people in transactions—like property. Judah sold his teenaged brother Joseph for money (and retaliation); and Judah bought Tamar for sex (not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law disguised behind a veil).
Ultimate offering
In the end, Judah offered himself to be a slave to protect his brother Benjamin from slavery. Instead of using someone for financial or sexual gain, he offered his life as a sacrifice out of concern for his father and his brother Benjamin. Judah came full circle. (See part 11 for details.)
After acknowledging his sin and getting a new heart from God, Judah did the right thing even though it was a huge deal. He offered himself—and the gain would go exclusively to others.
Judah made the ultimate God-honoring transaction—
100% giving, with no taking involved.
My circles
Did my life come full circle like Judah’s? It sure did.
The danger of deferring
My primary sin was abortion—murdering my son. My underlying sins were many—pride, secrets, fear and deferring—letting other less-than-stellar people tell me what to think and what to do. I usually call deferring by its more common name: people-pleasing—a risky and dangerous form of neglect.
I utterly and completely lacked discernment. I believed what other people said, without acknowledging that some of them were wrong. Some of them were actually evil. And I didn’t have a clue. I didn’t know God personally, and I knew precious little from his word, so I was like a leaf tossed by the winds of public opinion, peer pressure, people’s comments, and the propaganda of the media.
The people
Unbeknownst to me, I was surrounded by mentally ill people growing up. Who were the people in the house? Three narcissists—my dad, Pam, The Almighty and Linda; one servant—I mean my mom, the codependent; and me—the Narcissistic Supply AKA silent sponge. I was molded into a Class-A People-Pleaser, a straight-A student, and a clueless wonder. No communication skills. No problem-solving skills. No critical thinking skills. Seriously—a total clueless wonder.
As an adult, I gravitated to other mentally ill people. They felt like home; but home was bad. See this post to dig into the vital subjects of childhood adapting and the gravitational pull.
Two essential things were missing from my life:
God and the truth.
Highlights
(Age 22 to 32: Boot Camp—working for Child Protective Services)
1. Age 24: Married my first husband, Greg
2. Age 26: Abortion
3. Age 33: Got saved
(Divorced Greg six months later)
4. Age 34: Met and married Brandon
5. Age 39: Logan’s birth
6. Age 41: Our baby Joshua’s death
7. Age 47: Met Charlene, my Soul Sister
8. Age 52: Healed from the trauma of abortion
9. Age 52: Left the sociopaths (six months later)
10. Age 53: Started writing Choosing Peace
At age 26, I had an abortion. Then, 26 long years later, God healed me. In the meantime, he saved me, released me from my traumatic first marriage, and gave me my new family. I must confess: I was a slow learner. I really was. It took me many years to replace all the lies with truth—the lies I grew up with, the lies of The Age/World, and the lies I told myself. But God was faithful. He protected me, sustained me and taught me. Most of all, he loved me through it all. He’s been so kind, compassionate and patient.
Here are some of the ways I came full circle.
Abuse and neglect: Professional to personal
For 10 years I worked with abused and neglected children—all the while not having a clue that I was abused and neglected. God showed me the truth at the right time and healed me. I came full circle—many years later. (See The Trauma of Perfection and Trauma of Disengagement posts.)
Marriage: Destruction vs. healing
God taught me about the destruction and healing that can occur in marriage. He called me out of my first marriage because Greg was bent on destruction. He called me to stay in my current marriage—even though it was very difficult at times—because his ultimate plan was for healing and restoration, not destruction and divorce. I became bolder; Brandon became softer. God saved him. And we’re both being sanctified and transformed. Thanks be to God.
My experiences in marriage have come full circle—from destruction to healing. From pain to peace.
Did I mention that Brandon and I went to a car show out of town with our new-to-us car club this month? It was quite the adventure: Irene’s broken air conditioner, hail at 3 in the morning, great food, bad sleep. I’m glad we went. We learned a lot about going to car shows out of town. We’re livin‘ and learnin‘.
Life: Taking vs. giving
When I was 26 years old, my first husband and I took our son’s life. We called it something else, but it was murder.
After living with abortion PTSD for 26 years, God healed me at a weekend retreat. What a life-changing experience. The next year, I wrote about my abortion for the first time. That was huge at the time. (Now it’s easy.) Then I trained volunteers about abortion and trauma at a couple of my church’s Life Task Force meetings. Next, I served at weekend healing retreats for four years. Watching the Lord do his healing work; speaking to a room full of women—telling my story and watching their earnest faces; and sharing hugs, tears, revelations and laughter blessed me immensely.
I came full circle—from taking life to helping give women their lives back.
Joy, joy and more joy.
Extended family: Enslaved to free
Brandon and I finally went to counseling after my post-abortion healing. Our counselor Matt realized in fairly short order that Brandon’s parents were sociopaths. His strong advice—“It’s time to divorce your family”—changed our lives. We left The War Zone, lived our mantra (“You play, you lose”), and used our secret weapon: The Weapon of Silence. I started writing Choosing Peace that fall—dissecting and reflecting on our experiences. The Lord revealed things to me and healed me as I wrote. It’s been an amazing process.
Brandon’s dad died five years ago, and his mother, called Her Majesty, married another highly-disturbing individual. We’re reminded periodically of why God called us to leave. This month we received a two-page, typed manifesto from Her Majesty. Charming. It was so ridiculous that I laughed after reading it. That was a first—the laughing part. I give the Holy Spirit all the glory for that. I won’t bore you with the colorful details today. Maybe some other time. Evil is as evil does.
My side of the family is also seriously jacked-up. Last spring, at the Lord’s urging, I closed the door to my older sibling Linda—the final control freak in my family of origin. Praise the Lord. See Narcissists in the index.
We came full circle on both sides of the extended family—from targets of various sick control freaks to a state of freedom. Sure, they can lob the occasional grenade our way, but we’re free to laugh at it, shake our heads in disgust or otherwise cope with the attack. We’re no longer slaves to The Way Things Are in our families of origin. We walked away and we’re free. More to the point: Christ set us free.
Core sins
God replaced my core, underlying sins—pride, secrets, fear and people-pleasing—with virtues like humility, truth, faith, courage, wisdom and discernment. My weakness was replaced by the Holy Spirit’s strength. Interestingly enough, the four categories listed above—(1) abuse and neglect, (2) marriage, (3) life and (4) extended family—were filled with steps away from vices and toward virtues. From lies to truth. From darkness to light. From silence to speaking. And that, Peaceful Readers, is the transforming work of the Holy Spirit—one thought, one day at a time. All glory to God.
As a little girl, I felt alone and afraid. As a woman, I was hiding something terrible. It feels so good to lay it all out here on Choosing Peace. I’m living in the light. Are you?
Your turn
The time has come to explore your story. Get out your journal or a piece of paper. Take a deep breath or two and get really comfortable. I, personally, would grab some chocolate to have handy.
Highlights
Take your time reflecting on some of the big events, tragedies, victories and relationships in your life. First, list your Top 10 life events—and I’m not talking about your favorite vacation. I’m talking about life-changing, stop-the-press events, seasons or relationships. Your list might include your salvation, someone’s death, a really high-stress season/relationship, marriage, divorce, parenting, abuse/neglect, a turning point, a health or job situation, a move, a big victory, etc.
Call your list whatever you’d like. I called my list earlier in today’s post Highlights. You might call yours Highs and Lows, My Life, The Biggies, Top 10, My Story or something else. While my list featured only big events and relationships as an adult, include your childhood in yours. Take your time thinking about your life. You may work on your list a little at a time for several days. Pray and ask God to help you identify these key events, people and circumstances.
What 10 events, trials, victories and/or relationships stand out in your life?
Ratings
After you’ve finished your list, rate each item’s impact on you, from +10 to -10. A +10 means the ultimate, most-fantastic thing. A -10 means the ultimate disaster, loss, attack, injury, etc. Some of your items might be a +5 or a -7 and so on. (Not everything is a 10.)
Circles
After you’ve completed your list, ask yourself these questions. Have you come full circle on any of the negative, hurtful items on your list? Have you reached a place of truth, healing, forgiving and peace regarding any of them? Did one or more of your greatest tragedies or failings—or perhaps a persistent sin—eventually lead you to a place of victory? If so, you’ve come full circle on that part of your life. Draw a circle around your rating (e.g., -2, -8, -5) for that item on your highlights list. And give thanks to God!
Healing and transformation
If you still need healing or peace around something or someone on your list, explore part 2 thru part 6 of The Trauma of Perfection. It includes How to Unpack a Trauma or Loss and much more. See the Grieving series and the Forgiving series. Walk thru the Choosing Peace index.
God transforms lives—one thought, one day at a time—if we cooperate with him. Be kind to yourself, be brave, ask and answer hard questions, and pray a lot.
Joseph’s turn
What about our main character in these 12 posts—Joseph? Did he come full circle. Did he ever!
Last time, in part 11, I wrapped up Joseph’s second test of his brothers at the feast. Then we explored chapter 44 of Genesis: Joseph’s third and final test of his brothers—the false accusation against Benjamin, with their brother Judah’s remarkable offer to take Benjamin’s punishment and submit to a life of slavery in his place.
What happened right after Judah’s humble, sacrificial speech? Let’s explore Genesis, chapter 45.
The big reveal
Savor this remarkable piece of God’s holy word:
Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all those who stood before him, so he cried out, “Send everyone away from me.” So no one stood with him while Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the house of Pharaoh heard about it. Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?” But his brothers couldn’t answer him, for they were terrified at his presence.
Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” So they moved closer. And he said, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. Now do not be upset or angry with yourselves that you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there will be five more years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now, it wasn’t you who sent me here, but God, and he has made me a father to Pharaoh, lord of all his house, and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Now hurry and go up to my father and tell him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says, “God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me. Do not delay. You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you will be near to me, you, your children, and your children’s children, and your flocks, and your herds, and everything that you have. There I will provide for you, for there are still five years of famine to come, otherwise you and your household and all that you have would become destitute.’” Look, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin, that it is my mouth which is speaking to you. So you must tell my father about all my glory in Egypt, and of all that you have seen. But you must hurry and bring my father down here.” Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his shoulder. And he kissed all his brothers and wept on them, and after that his brothers talked with him.
Genesis 45:1-15, New Heart English Bible
Are your eyes bugging out? What an incredible scene. This turning point would definitely make Joseph’s highlight list from his life. Mercy. “I am Joseph, your brother” (v. 4c). Let’s unpack that amazing scripture passage.
Full circle
But first, how did Joseph come full circle? From hiding his identity from his brothers to revealing himself. From being separated from his family of origin to being reunited. From being rejected by them to being embraced. From being hated by them to being respected. From being declared dead to being revealed as God’s agent to save many lives. Wow!
Joseph—the humble, generous leader
Joseph’s generosity was abundantly clear. “Come down here and bring everyone and everything. I’ll take care of you all.” He had a plan and the means to carry it out—in the midst of a vast, long-term famine.
Some people might argue with me about the heading for this section—calling Joseph humble. I get that. Joseph did say, “[Tell] my father about all my glory in Egypt” (v. 13). That paragraph in the Bible is an excellent example of the importance of not taking verses out of context. We must remember the words that preceded the “my glory” sentiment. In verse 9, Joseph said: “God has made me lord of all Egypt.” Joseph didn’t say, “I’m so smart;” “I worked really hard;” “I graduated from so-and-so university;” “I’m better than everybody else.” Etcetera. He said, “God did it.” Joseph gave God the glory. So, why did Joseph want his brothers to tell their father about his status and position? He wanted his brothers to tell their father the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He wanted them to paint an accurate picture for their father—who would obviously be shocked by the whole thing.
Focus and purpose
The fundamental focus of Joseph’s words—and his life—was his devotion to God. He clearly embraced the truth that his life was in God’s hands. He understood that God was the author of his life’s purpose. And the Lord made Joseph’s purpose crystal clear to him—at the right time, in the right way.
In part 8, I explained the importance of repeated words or phrases in the Bible. When we want to emphasize something, we repeat ourselves. So does God. Joseph told his brothers three times that God was the one who sent him into slavery in Egypt. “God sent me before you” (v. 5); “God sent me ahead of you” (v. 7); “…it wasn’t you who sent me here, but God” (v. 8). And Joseph clearly understood why: “to preserve life” (v. 5)—“to preserve for you a remnant on the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance” (v. 7).
Deliverance
The phrase “by a great deliverance” stands out to me. The future nation of Israel was at this time a big family—Jacob/Israel, his 12 sons and their children. They were about to be delivered into the land of Egypt to rescue them from famine and death. And much later, their descendants would be delivered out of the land of Egypt after hundreds of years in slavery. Joseph arrived in Egypt as a slave, was pulled out of slavery, and became great. The same would happen for the nation of Israel. They would live in slavery in Egypt, be pulled out by a great deliverance, and would become great*. Their nation would come full circle. God foretold this future reality to Abraham—Joseph’s great grandfather—in Genesis 15.
*The nation of Israel was great when they were humble and reverent before the Lord. Read this post and this post about Nehemiah and the Israelites.
The scene above in Joseph’s life—when he told his brothers who he was—marked the beginning of their deliverance into the land of Egypt. And God used Joseph to pave the way.
Provision
The rest of Genesis, chapter 45 documents the Lord’s provision for this deliverance. Pharaoh commanded Joseph to say to his brothers:
“Take wagons from the land of Egypt for your little ones, and for your wives, and bring your father and come. Also, do not worry about your possessions, for the best of all of the land of Egypt is yours.”
Genesis 45:19b- 20, New Heart English Bible
Joseph gave provision and clothes to all of his brothers, with special generosity to Benjamin and their father.
The instruction
Also, Joseph told his brothers not to argue as they traveled back to Canaan. That part makes me laugh. Joseph knew human nature and he knew his brothers. They were all completely shocked and painfully confronted with the truth of selling Joseph into slavery and then covering it up. (Plus, their father would finally find out what they did.) Joseph knew they’d be tempted to whip out their Blame Throwers and go to town on each other. “Yoooooouuu did/said thus-and-so.” “Thus-and-so is your fault.” That’s why Joseph said, “[Do] not be upset or angry with yourselves that you sold me here” (v. 5). Joseph was wise and compassionate. He saw The Big Picture.
Belief
When Joseph’s brothers told their father Jacob that Joseph was still alive—and was ruler over Egypt—Jacob was shocked, to say the least, and didn’t believe them. But as they told him what Joseph said, and Jacob saw all the wagons, he believed. What did Joseph send to his father? “[Ten] donkeys loaded with the best things of Egypt, and ten female donkeys loaded with grain and food and provision for his father on the journey” ~ Genesis 45:23b, NHEB.
Then Israel said, “I’m convinced. My son Joseph is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.”
Genesis 45:28, New Heart English Bible
Victory—in word and song
Chapter 45 of Genesis is a Victory Chapter. Joseph’s testing of his brothers was finally complete. They passed the last test, thanks to Judah’s new heart and humble speech. The dark family secrets were finally brought into the light. The lie that Joseph was dead came crashing down. When Joseph first revealed his identity, his brothers were terrified. Then came Joseph’s compassion—the truth—the kindness. (No blaming.)
Weeping. Hugging. Talking.
The Lord’s remarkable plan would save many lives.
And Joseph gave God the glory.
Generosity
Then God’s generosity poured forth through Joseph and Pharaoh. Absolutely remarkable. What a victory for all 12 brothers and for the future nation of Israel.
Praise
It’s time to praise the Lord. The hymn below, “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty,” is one of my many favorites. I love it. This lyric stands out to me: “Ponder anew what the Almighty can do.”
Is there something in your life that you’ve given up on? Is God calling you, today, to “ponder anew what the Almighty can do”? Some doors are rightly closed by the Lord for our good and protection. Others are closed for a time. Some things that we can’t do on our own we can do with the Lord’s help. God can replace our fear with courage—our weakness with his strength.
Let’s all…
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do.
Coming next: Sacrifices. Visions. The caravan. Joseph and his father Jacob are finally reunited. Hallelujah and amen.
Until next time, thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Psalm 34:1-8
Song: Listen to both versions of “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty.” Drink in what the Lord has for you….
Version 1 by Sovereign Grace Music
Version 2 by Acapeldridge
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