Affliction
In part 3 and part 4, we explored joy in the word. Today we’ll dig into joy in affliction—a challenging subject. Let’s dive on in.
A vicious physical attack. A sad farewell. A new accomplice. Peaceful Readers, last week was hard.
Persecution
Later, we’ll explore how to experience joy in the midst of affliction. But first, let’s drink in this scripture about one type of affliction—persecution. Think of persecution as being targeted. That’s a very bad thing, to be sure.
Yes, and all who desire to live godly [lives] in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil people and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.
2 Timothy 3:12-13, New Heart English Bible
The deceiver
We certainly experienced the truth of those Bible verses last week. And who was the impostor at the center of the deception and evil? Brandon’s sociopathic mom, Delia—better known as Her Majesty, the Sadistic Control Freak. I called her The Dictator in The Sneak Attack posts. Delia, The Dictator chooses the targets and rallies her troops; I mean accomplices.
New target, new accomplice
The family reunion took place earlier this month; and clearly, Delia was a busy little dictator—I mean spider. She kept spinning her web. Always spinning—where someone is concerned. Unfortunately, Delia has targeted Logan consistently this year. She wants him big-time. And, as we’ve learned time and time again, sociopaths have to win. They don’t take no (or silence) for an answer. (Until they do.)
What happened, pray tell? One of Brandon’s cousins has a wife I call Karen. Last week, Karen contacted Logan for the first time ever, opting for Instagram. She wished him well at college, now that he’s entering his senior year. What a concerned and involved relative. How thoughtful is that? Karen asked Logan to contact “Granny.” According to the suddenly-interested and oh-so-caring Karen, Logan’s sociopathic grandmother really misses him. Right.
Show and tell
In reality, Delia sees Logan as her possession, not a person. And for Delia, life is one big, fat game of Show and Tell. She’ll show you why she’s impressive and worthy of your worship, and she’ll tell you lots of lies to keep you handy, toy with you, make you feel sorry for her, or manipulate you into hating and/or attacking someone on her Target List. When Her Majesty summons people, they come. (Until they don’t.) Competitive? On steroids. Since her sister, Aunt Marilyn, got all of her grandkids to the family reunion—including one who came from outside the great state of Texas—it was beyond essential for Delia to match that performance. And she didn’t. She lost. Logan didn’t come, despite all Delia’s efforts. And, true to form, she’s freaking out; I mean pouring on the drama and manipulation. Always and forever spinning her web, playing her sick little game. She is The Gamemaker.
Seven in seven
Delia pulled out all the stops to get Logan to the reunion. Was Karen accomplice #7 to target Logan this year? Seven accomplices in seven months? I believe so. Let’s do some counting. (1) Uncle Henry—the retired neurosurgeon and skilled author of The Manifesto. (2) Aunt Marilyn, Delia’s sister who lives next door. (3) Aunt Marilyn’s husband. (4) Walter, Delia’s relatively-new husband—a dangerous wolf in sheep’s clothing. (5) Walter’s strange secretive sidekick, Penelope. (6) Logan’s second cousin—one of Karen’s nieces. And—last, but certainly not least—(7) the one-and-only Karen. Yep. Seven accomplices in seven months. Six out of the seven were new recruits this year. Can you believe that? Delia’s in rare form this year. The Dictator has clearly earned The Most Recruits Award in her brigade—The Super-Stellar Sociopathville Brigade. Go, Delia.
I will not lie to you. I am totally fed up with this. Now that Her Majesty is targeting our son, my Mama Bear hackles are up and I am riled up. Dog me out for decades? I can take it. So can Brandon. But targeting our son? That’s a different story altogether.
The discussion
Unfortunately for Delia, we’ve trained Logan well. (Check out Education and The Quiz of Truth in this post.) Logan knows what “Granny” is and he knows how to respond to her games. After he told us about Karen’s message, Logan and I chatted. Before he read it, he turned off the feature on Instagram that lets people know whether or not you looked at their message. Touché. Well done, Son. He had no intention of replying or acknowledging what she requested in any way. I reminded him that our mantra, “You play, you lose,” has served us well all these years. We discussed how totally inappropriate Karen’s message was, given (1) her decision not to be a part of his life, resulting in (2) her lack of a relationship with Logan, followed by (3) her attempt to control someone she doesn’t know or care about.
The background
Don’t get me wrong. I never expected anything from Karen. Her husband Patrick and my husband Brandon—while cousins—were never friends. They didn’t like each other, and there were reasons for that.
Parents who are abusive, neglectful and/or seriously mentally ill are incapable of teaching their children how to have healthy relationships. You can’t give what you don’t have. A humble and right relationship with God. Devoted and right handling of God’s word. Right thinking. Right words. Right living. Right relationships. Right problem-solving. That’s not to say that some of the children of abusive/neglectful parents don’t eventually figure that stuff out. Some do. Sadly, many do not.
The pain inflicted in abusive families may be forgiven, but it’s not forgotten. We remember it—without obsessing on it—to acknowledge what we’re dealing with so we can walk in wisdom and discernment. Read part 3 of What Forgiving Is and Isn’t, which includes the “forgive and forget” lie and what we should remember vs. what we need to lay down. It’s important.
Again and again
Karen’s Instagram message to Logan last week reminds me of Uncle Henry’s attack letter to Brandon eight years ago. From part 2 of The Sneak Attack:
What we have here is the Three-way Pass. When you pass on (1) spending quality time with someone and (2) getting to know them on a sincere, meaningful level, you get an automatic pass on (3) the privilege to positively influence their lives….
Guess what, Peaceful Readers? Karen messaged Logan again on Saturday, asking him if he didn’t get her message, if he was ignoring her or if he didn’t want to talk to her. Good grief, people. I warned him that she’s a bossy control freak and that she’ll be more persistent than the others. I also told him that I named her “Karen” on my blog. He understood. Logan said he hopes the relatives will stop contacting him this fall. I wrote this prayer in my journal: Lord, I pray for them to stop. God, please bring that to pass…. Amen.
Lies and messages
The persecution of our family falls in the private category. Other persecutions are very public. President Trump has endured intense public persecution for many years—well before his first presidency began. Dangerous, violent Us vs. Them thinking lies at the heart of persecution or targeting. (Obviously, there’s a vast difference between persecution and justice.)
Persecution invariably includes inflammatory lies
to convince people to hate and/or target an individual/group.
Delia lies about us (e.g., telling people that we invited Delia and Andrew over and wouldn’t let them in, when they actually came to our house uninvited). The scribes and Pharisees lied about Jesus, calling him satanic. Mainstream media, Democrats and the courts lie with shocking brazenness about President Trump.
Many thanks to Charlene for giving me this update last week. The beautiful opera aria sung at the end of the Republican National Convention was a message from President Trump. See this short article for details. This famous aria also closes out The Sum of All Fears, a movie based on Tom Clancy’s novel. During the last scene, all the nefarious actors are killed—“ours” and “theirs.” Brandon and I watched the movie Saturday night. It had some important takeaways, and the ending was epic. Peaceful Readers, I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry for justice in our country and our world. Bring it on.
This 13-minute clip from a recent sermon by Allen Jackson tells it like it is—President Joe Biden calling President Trump a “target,” MSM’s* manipulative lies about Israel, and other current events. This message will strengthen you to be the light in the darkness. To step into your role in this hour.
*MSM = mainstream media
Persecution wrap-up
Brandon and I have been targeted off and on our whole lives. Given how we adapted to our childhood environments, we didn’t acknowledge or understand the abuse or spiritual warfare for the longest time.
Until we did.
Impact
How has being targeted affected us? Our reservoir of emotional reserves can run very low, if not empty, at times. Due to our history, some bad choices in The Friend Department in the past, and our need to emotionally regroup after attacks, we’re cautious about who we befriend and/or spend time with. We must consistently monitor, manage and build up our emotional reserves. Friend-wise, we focus on our very small inner circle—a very safe place.
The key word to me from the Lord during the current season is rest. Has the Holy Spirit given you a key word for this season or chapter of your life?
The spiritual realm
Consider this section from a recent post:
…I mentioned that we live in a physical realm and also in a spiritual realm that we can’t see. These verses encourage me about the situation with Delia—the darkness, the lies, the scheming.
For this momentary light affliction is working for us a far more exceeding and everlasting weight of glory; while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are [eternal].
2 Corinthians 4:17-18, New Heart English Bible
Eternity
Reflecting on the unseen truths about Delia and other abusive relatives reminds me of kingdom realities—spiritual realities. And God is always victorious. Things that are unseen are eternal things—for us and for them. That gives me peace.
Key #1—focusing on God and his word
The passage above from 2 Corinthians gives us one of the keys to joy in affliction. Do we look at our difficulties, including persecution/targeting, through the lens of scripture? I certainly need to do that more. Our pastor tells us: “Preach to yourself.” In other words, remind yourself of important truths from God’s eternal word. Read 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 out loud. Declare it.
Here are some other great scriptures to read out loud if you or someone you care about is facing difficulties or any kind of affliction.
♦ Deuteronomy 31:8 ~ The Lord’s presence and devotion
♦ John 14:27 ~ Jesus giving his peace to you
♦ Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ Trusting God, who will guide you
♦ Psalm 139:1-5 ~ The Lord’s complete knowledge of you
♦ Romans 8:15-18 ~ Children of God, heirs, future glory
♦ Psalm 56:9 ~ Knowing that God is for you
♦ Psalm 121 ~ The Lord, your helper, who keeps you
Persecution is always psychological, emotional and spiritual in nature. Sometimes persecution includes physical and/or sexual attacks too. Sexual attacks are whole-person attacks—and are therefore the most severe. Being targeted is an intense experience.
What are some other types of affliction? Spiritual affliction and physical affliction will round out the three types I’ll cover today.
Spiritual affliction
The stress and the darkness
In January, I experienced a strange spiritual affliction. I don’t remember anything like it before. Stress piled up that weekend—an extreme lack of sleep, dog accidents in the house, a bad shopping experience, dealing with a trust fund financial advisor I didn’t trust (a friend of Pam, The Almighty), etc. Then things got really intense on The Lord’s Day.
Sunday, January 21
Journal entry
…I felt angry and depressed. Too much stress in my life right now and no break in sight. No break in sight. …Brandon and I sat on the back row in church. I told him I had to sit there because I’d probably fall asleep during church. I sat thru the worship time and didn’t sing. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t sing. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t open my Bible and read along. I couldn’t write notes. I just sat there, listened and cried off and on. That’s all I could do.
Something dark and heavy was on me. I can’t explain it. It was terrible.
Reprieve
A hug, a prayer, a good sermon, an early departure and a candy bar later, Brandon and I arrived at a friend’s house for lunch, White Elephant gifts and a good time with our life group. I sat by the fireplace and soaked up the peace and festivity. That afternoon, I took a long nap. Despite the reprieve, the heaviness remained for several days.
The reason and the solution
What happened at church? What was that all about? It was spiritual affliction—a spiritual attack. Dark spiritual forces were assigned to attack me. Why?
That weekend, the Lord added eight new prayer warriors to the Someone Cares retreat prayer team I coordinated. Ask and you shall receive. We were preparing for the first-ever bilingual retreat. And the prayer team kept growing until it was almost triple our usual size. Apparently, the dark spiritual forces were not happy about that.
I shared the spiritual attack with the prayer team and asked for their prayers. The very thing that instigated the spiritual attack was the thing that ended it that week: The power of prayer. (Plus, as an added bonus, the three short anger letters I wrote in the middle of the night—one to The Spider, one to my other sibling, and one to a former boss—felt so good.)
Key #2—prayer
Can prayer be one of the keys to joy in affliction? Yes. Be humble and vulnerable enough to share your affliction with the right people. Ask them, specifically, to pray for you. Prayer is powerful—to change things, to bring comfort, to accomplish God’s purposes. It also unifies us as believers and builds our faith. Instead of feeling alone in our affliction, we can feel lifted and carried by the hearts and prayers of our brothers and sisters in the Lord.
The joy
Were there happy or helpful moments during this time of trial? Definitely. On Friday—a sweet encounter between Paula and my dog Marvin at work at St. Matt’s, a phone call that revealed an important truth, tasty leftovers for dinner, and Logan arrived home from college for the weekend. “He looked great and was in good spirits.” On Saturday—lunch out as a family, successful photos taken for Logan’s internship search, and I completed the first transaction as Logan’s trust fund trustee. “It sure felt good. Thank you, Lord, for this new era. Please fill it with peace and provision. Amen.” On Sunday—truth in the sermon that spoke into a stressful situation in my life, an unexpected conversation in the hall that ministered to me deeply, a special lunch get-together with friends, a very kind and supportive email, Logan’s peaceful return to college, and a sweet treat when it was sorely needed. “The candy bar perked me up. Praise the Lord.”
What if none of those good things had happened? Did I seek joy in Jesus? In the assurance of my salvation? In the presence of the Holy Spirit? In the power of his word and prayer? In counting my many blessings? Yes, but it was hard to stay focused on those truths. Thankfully, receiving emails from ladies who were praying for me really boosted my spirits.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
James 1:2-3, New Heart English Bible
Physical affliction
When our loved ones are hurting, we hurt too.
The injuries
Last Tuesday, our new dog Arnold attacked my dog Marvin when they were outside after dinner. It was serious. Arnold came running in the house, panting like crazy and I saw cuts on his head. I called Floyd and Marvin in. Floyd couldn’t stand up. He could only get halfway up with his hind legs, but he managed to get inside. Poor Marvin had a bloody ear and deep puncture wounds on all of his legs. He had been viciously attacked. The worst area was in, on and around his left ear. Mercy. In our almost 26 years of marriage and family life with dogs, we’ve seen typical scuffles, but never a brawl—or its aftermath.
Brandon put together what happened based on the injuries. Floyd used his mouth to lift Arnold off of Marvin and absolutely saved the day. That’s why Floyd’s rear legs were hurting. (He’s a senior dog with arthritis.) The cuts on Arnold’s head matched Floyd’s mouth.
Brandon and Logan put Arnold in our new crate in the great room while we tended to Marvin in our room. He was really hurting. Blood was splattered on the floor, on his bed and ours. Logan put ointment on his injuries. Marvin was able to sleep, thanks be to God. Brandon checked Arnold’s cuts. They weren’t bad. Brandon and I played a game of Farkle in bed while we kept an eye on Marvin. Neither of us could concentrate on the game. We kept asking whose turn it was and if we’d rolled yet or not. It was a slow game, which was definitely for the best, and Brandon finally won.
The decision
That Tuesday evening, Brandon rightly said Arnold had to go. He texted photos of Marvin’s injuries to our coordinator from the dog rescue organization and talked to her. Since she was out of the country, she planned to have another coordinator contact us on Wednesday. She was very understanding.
The next day
I took Wednesday off and spent most of the day on the couch with Marvin—keeping an eye on him.
The verse and the shift
While Marvin and I were snuggling on the couch, the Holy Spirit brought Psalm 118:24 to my mind: “This is the day that the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (NHEB)
I looked over at sweet, torn-up Marvin. I rejoiced that Marvin was beside me. I rejoiced in petting him. I rejoiced for the time together.
Even at a painful time, thinking about Psalm 118:24 really made a difference.
I was rejoicing in the middle of our affliction.
Still hard. Still painful. But with a new perspective. I’m hurting, but what can I rejoice about? What can I be thankful for right here and now? Psalm 118:24 sounds like a little thing, but it was actually monumental. It gave me a mind and heart shift—from pain to gratitude. In other words, it gave me perspective. I stepped out of the pain and looked for something good. And I found it. Praise the Lord.
Key #3—Psalm 118:24
This is the day that the LORD has made.
We will rejoice and be glad in it. (NHEB)
The vet and the lockdown
We took Marvin to the vet for medicine. No stitches needed. Brandon worked from home to help out and kept Arnold with him in his office. Arnold was on lockdown—either behind closed doors with one of us, on a leash, outside without the other dogs or in the crate.
Unrelated stress
During dinner, Logan told us about Karen, our long-lost relative, messaging him on Instagram that day—asking him to contact Granny; I mean Her Majesty. As the saying goes: “When it rains, it pours.”
Anticipating the sad farewell
On Wednesday night—Arnold’s last night with us—Brandon snuggled with Marvin on the couch while I snuggled in the chocolate chair in the office with Arnold. I prayed earnestly for him and his future, knowing he’d be perfect for the right family.
What a sad time. I cried—about all of it. The injuries. The shocking ending. The impending farewell. We were all very sad. This ending wasn’t at all what we expected.
The end
On Thursday morning, Marvin and I went to work at St. Matt’s. Around 11:00, one of the ladies from the rescue organization picked Arnold up from our house to take him to the shelter. The three different volunteers Brandon spoke with were very understanding and sympathetic. We recommended that Arnold be an only dog and not be placed in a home with young children.
Resolution and takeaways
When Marvin and I got home from work on Thursday, Arnold’s crate wasn’t in the great room and Arnold wasn’t there. When his absence sunk in, Marvin was much more relaxed. His attacker was gone. He was safe again.
What was accomplished through our experience with Arnold? What were the takeaways? (1) Marvin gained significant confidence. That gives us all joy to see. (2) We were able to experience the great risk Arnold poses to the vulnerable. He loves his people, but he’s jealous of the competition. Something catastrophic could have happened if Arnold saw a toddler as the competition. As it is, Arnold will be placed with different restrictions, which will help him be successful and will help keep his future family safe. Arnold will win and so will they. I feel at peace about him and his future.
Wrap-up
While there are other types of affliction, like physical illnesses or conditions, I hope today’s examples—persecution, spiritual affliction and a physical attack—were helpful.
What are three keys to joy in affliction?
1. Focusing on God and his word
Know that God will be victorious. Strengthen yourself through his word. “Preach to yourself.”
2. Prayer
Humble yourself, be vulnerable and ask people to pray for you.
3. Psalm 118:24
Let this verse help you step out of your affliction and into the goodness of God. Give thanks to the Lord for ways he’s blessed you.
Are you experiencing affliction? What about some people you know? Pray and cling to the Lord and his word. I’d like to wrap up today’s post with encouraging words from this post in the Forgiving series:
“Lord, I’m in your hands, and you are faithful.”
Coming next: Will we consider joy in believing, in worship or in God’s presence next time? Or one of the other two categories? I have no idea. I look forward, greatly, to all that the Lord will unfold.
Until next time, thanks for reading and for Choosing Peace.
Truth from The Word: Revelation 19:11-13
Song: “Son Rise” by Abriele Cole & “Of Valor”
More: To stay current on recent posts, sign up for my monthly newsletter.